


Make The Yuletide Gay

by Biromantic_Nerd



Series: Modern College AU + Christmas Fake-Dating Series [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Uchiha Sasuke, Autistic Uzumaki Naruto, Biromantic Uzumaki Naruto, Don't copy to another site, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gay Uchiha Sasuke, Gen, Holidays, Homophobia, Implied Future Character Death, M/M, Minor Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Modern College Christmas Fake-Dating AU, OCD Uchiha Sasuke, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Pre-Relationship, Sexual Humor, Slow To Update, Terminal Illnesses, Trans Female Character, Trans Haruno Sakura, Trans Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke & Yamanaka Ino Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21929683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biromantic_Nerd/pseuds/Biromantic_Nerd
Summary: But more than anything, he wanted Itachi to feel welcome in his own family's house. He wanted to give that to him somehow. And, yeah, maybe that somehow was going to end up being that he had to punch every queerphobic relative until they apologized. But so what?(AKA the one where Sasuke miraculously found his estranged brother and ended up fake-dating Naruto in order to convince Itachi to come home for Christmas.)
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Modern College AU + Christmas Fake-Dating Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579903
Comments: 22
Kudos: 125





	1. start

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Modern College AU and a Christmas Fake-Dating AU. Okay you know those fics where someone fake dates someone for the holidays? This is that
> 
> warnings:  
> • major tw for Itachi being terminally ill! He doesn't die in this story but he knows that he's going to die and that gets mentioned more than once.  
> • homophobia. also a minor character threatens to out someone without their consent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this idea and wanted to wait until I could put the time and effort it deserves into it - but then it'd never get written. So while this story has about 24 chapters in my heart but 8 irl, I still love it and hope y'all do too

It started, like with most things, because of his roommate.

"Hey, are you going back to Konoha for the holidays?" Ino asked him, half flopped over her bed and upside down while reading a magazine like she's a cliche teenager out of some Disney romantic comedy.

"Hm?" Sasuke mostly ignored her, focusing on making flashcards for his bio midterm; it's only three weeks away after all.

"Konoha. Holidays." She condensed, At his silence, she sighed and closed her magazine; she sat up and eyed him. "Are you staying in the dorm or are you going home?"

Sasuke's hand stilled. He hadn't even considered - fuck.

"Let me know," Ino interjected casually, as if sensing his sudden inner turmoil and intervening before it can spiral. "Sakura and I are trying to plan a Secret Santa thing. Maybe even a dinner - party, maybe, I don't know yet."

"Just the dorm?" He asked, like his thoughts weren't centered around having to go back home - that he had started calling the _dorm_ home and now reality was crashing down upon him that it wasn't and couldn't be - and that this would be another miserable fucking Christmas wondering whether Itachi was celebrating wherever he was or if he had been long dead in an alley somewhere without any of their family even knowing.

She scoffed. "No way. That's not enough people. I was thinking about Shikamaru and Choji at the least. Also, Naruto would want to invite Gaara and Sai - "

Sasuke groaned.

"They're not that bad." She protested.

"Gaara stabbed me with a fucking fork." He reminded her, throwing her withering glare.

Unbothered by it, her mouth quirked upwards. "So he's a _little_ possessive of Naruto... Just don't threaten him this time."

"I was passing him the salt." He enunciated each word slowly. "I wasn't threatening Naruto."

" _Pretty_ sure you threatened to beat the shit out of him if he added so much as one shake because you thought the meal was perfectly seasoned - but okay."

He scoffed. "He wouldn't know what quality food was even if he went to Vegas and _eloped_ with my risotto."

"Wow," His roommate said dryly. "Wow." He took a deep breath but she continued on. "Okay so we'll cater. No big deal."

Sasuke eyed her. "I didn't say I was staying."

Her smile was illusive like water trickling through a clenched fist - there but ever not. "You should."

He turned his attention back to his textbook and flashcards. Tried to focus on alleles and genotypic variation. Abiogenesis -

"Besides," Ino said casually, as if he had responded by anything other than ignoring her. "I'm pretty sure that Gaara is going home to visit his siblings, so he probably won't be there anyways. So, really, it'll just be the four of us, Shikamura and Choji, maybe Sai, _maybe_ -"

"I'm not coming if Sakura invites Rock Lee again." He blurted hastily.

Ino paused. "Is that a deal breaker?" She asked cautiously, as if mentally weighing her roommate's unhappiness with him attending versus her girlfriend's unhappiness with him not attending.

He glared.

"Okay," She said with a shrug. "No Rock Lee."

He nodded. And then waited.

A moment later, it came. "You know, Sakura really wants him to be there. It'd mean a lot to her."

" _You're_ not uncomfortable with your ex inviting her ex?" He asked pointedly.

Ino laughed. "No! Sakura and I are lesbians. I'm not worried." Sasuke had known that Ino was a lesbian; he had assumed Sakura wasn't since she had been extremely into Sasuke for a brief time at the very beginning of the term. "Rock Lee helped Sakura figure out a lot of stuff - and even though he's really fucking weird, he's a nice guy. He and Sakura are friends, you know?"

No, Sasuke didn't know; but he could see where this was going. "If I stay, he's not invited. If I end up going to Konoha, knock yourself out."

Ino eyed him knowingly, as if already aware that Sasuke would eventually give in to the idea and was merely humoring him for now. " _O_ -kay."

* * *

"Did Ino talk to you about the Christmas party?" Naruto asked him as soon as he stepped through the door the next day.

Sasuke glanced to where he sat on the living room couch. "Hm."

Naruto squinted. "Is that a yes or is that a no?" He paused and then continued on. "Anyways, so are you staying for the holidays or are you going back to Konoha?"

"Are you?" Sasuke sat down on the couch beside him.

The blonde startled - at the question or the sudden proximity, Sasuke can't tell. "Uh, no. My dad and I can't afford the plane ticket."

"Oh." Sasuke thought to the ticket that he bought just in case he did end up deciding to go home and felt oddly guilty.

Naruto shrugged. "It's not a big deal. My dad just worries, ya know? It's going to be my first Christmas not in Konoha." Sasuke waited for him to add on something like, 'it's going to be my first Christmas alone' but he never did.

"Ino told me." Sasuke said eventually, and Naruto looked away from the television.

"Oh, nice." Is all he said in reply.

Sasuke debated staying to watch tv with him - but Naruto's watching Elf _again_ and Sasuke cannot sit through that for a third time in one month. He stood, head to his room, and shut the door. Buddy The Elf's voice trailing after him.

* * *

"Hey," Sakura stopped Sasuke one day while he's on his way to a physics lab.

"Hey."

"We can do the Secret Santa even if you end up going home. We'll do it early before you leave." She assured him.

Sasuke subtly tried to sidestep around her. She followed his movements like a shadow.

"Okay, fine," He agreed, sighing. "I'll do the Secret Santa."

Her whole face lit up. She used to only look at him like that, with wonder in her eyes, when the semester began and Sasuke's glad - very glad - that she's accepted that there won't be anything romantic between them. Ever.

* * *

He hadn't expected it to happen so soon, but... It was Ino and Sakura after all.

"Time to pick a name!" Sakura declared exuberantly that very night, shaking Ino's baseball cap full of paper in excitement as the four of them finished the take out they all had been eating together. Sasuke idly wondered where she had stashed the cap away until this moment. Maybe she had been holding it the whole time even with one hand and restricting her movements to the other?

"Oh, I know who I want!" Naruto cried out, rolling with the suddenness of it with an ease that Sasuke had always envied. Nothing seemed to shake Naruto, even when it took him off guard.

"It's random," Sakura pointed out, confusion creasing her brow.

"Can't I pick?" Naruto asked curiously. Ino rolled her eyes.

"No!" Sakura looked utterly appalled. "It's random! You can't _pick_!"

"Okay, but can I just - " Naruto inched closer to the hat, and Sakura scowled.

"We are not rigging the hat!" She scolded him.

"Aw, come on! I saw this really cute sweatshirt and I think it'd be perfect for Hinata - "

"No!" Sakura dodged Naruto's attempts to grab the hat.

"Just pick a random name from the hat," Sakura ordered sternly. Naruto opened his mouth to protest, hand reaching again for the cap. Sasuke scoffed and stepped in front of Naruto. He grabbed a piece of paper and immediately frowned.

"Who the fuck is Tenten?" Sasuke read the name in utter confusion.

Naruto began to laugh at him and didn't stop.

"You're not supposed to _say_ who you have, oh my God, Sasuke," Sakura bemoaned.

"Ino," Sasuke pulled at her arm, ignoring Naruto's obnoxious howling in the background. "Who is Tenten?"

Ino stared at him for a long moment and then raised her eyebrows. "You know her. I'll link you to her social media accounts. Don't worry."

Sasuke wasn't worried - just confused as fuck.

"The only thing funnier," Naruto wheezed, "Would be if Sasuke had gotten Kiba."

It was a set-up, he knew it was, but... "Who the fuck is Kiba?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto laughed until he cried.

Sakura took pity on him. "You know? Hinata's friends?"

Sasuke vaguely can recall Hinata bringing a handful of people to their Friendsgiving; all of them had been really fucking weird but not as weird as Rock Lee, who had been Sakura's boyfriend at the time - and who had gotten really fucking drunk and had tried to fight Sasuke. He doesn't remember much else besides Naruto's friend Gaara stabbing him in the fucking hand while his other friend Sai blaisely tried to make small talk about the weather. Sakura's lucky he even remembers who the fuck _Hinata_ is, to be honest.

"Okay," Sasuke eyed the piece of paper in his hand. "I'll figure it out."

* * *

"Hey," Naruto burst into Saskue's room later that night while he's trying to study. "Can I keep some of my clothes in your dresser? Because I hate wearing the same outfit every time Sakura sexiles me."

Sasuke lifted his gaze from his textbook and turned around to stare at him, gaze focused. "...Are you trying to tell me that you're _not_ wearing the same outfit every single day on purpose?"

Naruto's face creased in confusion. " _Why_ would I?" Then his entire countenance fell as he was hit by an epiphany. "Oh my God, wait, Sasuke is that what you thought this _whole_ time? It's been like a week! Sasuke???"

Sasuke turned his attention back to his coursework, lips upturned, and ignored his friend as he loudly carried on.

"Sasuke, you asshole, answer me!"

"Yes," He replied primly. "Half a drawer."

"Yes- oh." Naruto repeated, stunned. "Oh. Nice. Thanks!"

He didn't leave and Sasuke lifted his head to look over. "Are you waiting for something?"

"Can I wait here until they're done?" The blonde blurted.

Sasuke sighed. "Fine. Only if you're quiet," He amended hastily.

"Oh hey thanks!" Naruto grinned.

Two minutes later and Naruto was halfway into a story about pranking his dad, not at all quiet.

Sasuke sets down his pencil, decided to give up on studying until later, and actually listened to the next story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the tags, this is going to be a pretty lighthearted story but it does deal with themes of terminal illness and homophobia starting in chapter 2.


	2. itachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Sasuke has undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in this story. So when Ino says, "Is this one of your OCD things?" it's not just a throwaway line or an ableist comment
> 
> Warnings: Itachi is terminally ill and that gets discussed in this chapter

Sasuke found the picture by accident. He'd been on Instagram and Twitter trying to figure out what the fuck he should buy Tenten and then he saw it.

He clicked on the username with a trembling hand, hardly daring to even breathe in case it wasn't -

It was.

Sasuke stared, stunned, at his brother's selfie on Instagram. It was only two days old.

He was alive.

Sasuke sunk his head into his hands and took a ragged breath. He hadn't realized how desperately he had feared that Itachi wouldn't be until he had proof that he was.The relief was almost more devastating than the years and years of not knowing.

Itachi was alive.

* * *

Nothing else mattered. Tenten was getting a Starbucks gift card, screw the Secret Santa. Sasuke set aside his study guides and flashcards and didn't think twice about postponing his midterm preparations.

Sasuke diligently checked Instagram, afraid that if he didn't then he'd miss this connection that he had only found by chance. That his brother would once more slip through his fingers and be lost all over again.

And he couldn't lose his brother - not again.

This was his only chance. He refused to let it get away from him.

* * *

He refreshed the page every three minutes, in a cycle of angry sadness.

The first minute, he spent in silent disappointment as he frantically scrolled in case - somehow - he had missed a new post. The second minute, he spent fuming and furious that nothing was there, fuming and furious that Itachi had left at all and that Sasuke was reduced to doing this to find him. The third minute, he clicked refresh again and again for a minute straight. Just in case.

And then it started all over.

* * *

Ino walked in, the door startling Sasuke, and suddenly he realized that he must have again lost at least another hour doing this if she was back from the gym already. Fuck.

She slowly set down her duffel bag and wrung her damp hair with the towel around her neck, took in the sight of him, checked her watch, and reached a conclusion as she saw him once more still on the computer and not at class.

"Is this one of your OCD things?" Ino asked, face carefully and deliberately neutral.

"No," Sasuke immediately denied and then realized that it _was_. "Fuck."

"Close the laptop," Ino suggested.

"Fuck," Sasuke said again, rubbing one hand over his face tiredly. He closed the laptop.

"Let's make dinner," Ino offered casually.

Sasuke winced guiltily. "Isn't it date night?"

Ino shrugged. "Is it?"

Sasuke did not believe her for a second; she had never forgotten any date she had planned, and he especially doubted that she would forget with Sakura. The two of them had just recently started dating but were obviously and stupidly in love. Ino's nonchalance was a clear facade but it was probably intended to soothe Sasuke's pride.

"Fine. Let's make dinner." Sasuke sighed.

He paused as the need to open the laptop and just check - just refresh the page - surged through him strongly as he tried to stand and leave the room. "Here," He offered the laptop gruffly to his roommate. "Don't let me look at this until after midterms."

"Awfully bold of you to pledge to study for midterms without a laptop." She remarked casually - but took the laptop and shoved it underneath her armpit. Thank God she always showered after the gym.

"Hm," Sasuke grumbled. He eyed the laptop uneasily. "Whatever."

* * *

True to his word, Sasuke had let Ino keep the laptop.

He downloaded the Instagram app on his phone and pursued Itachi's account relentlessly on that instead.

Sometimes he felt the need to shove the phone behind his back whenever someone entered a room, as if his guilt could visibly be seen and they would _know_ what he was doing. Which was stupid. They couldn't. And it wasn't like he was doing anything wrong.

Sasuke often deleted the app and redownloaded it. To check to make sure it was working because he didn't trust the way the app refreshed in comparison to a web browser.

There wasn't any new post on Itachi's account.

Sasuke's thumb hovered over the screen for just a moment.

And then he, once more, deleted the app, unwilling to take the chance.

* * *

It occurred to him to check the other posts, the ones before the selfie.

There were more than Sasuke would have expected, especially from someone who had just walked away one day from his family and had never come back.

Itachi's Instagram was a mixture of artistic angles of ordinary things, random cats, a plethora of selfies in which he didn't look happy per se but he didn't look unhappy either, and an overwhelming magnitude of pictures featuring tea cups or lemon loaves on the same exact cafe table - it had an incredibly distinct wood stain and was missing a chunk out of the side edge.

Sasuke tried to find out what cafe it was, but every photo either had an in-house tea cup with no discernible markings or the to-go disposable paper cup carefully had the logo turned away. He wasn't sure if Itachi was paranoid about people learning his location - then why post at all and why the selfies? - or if it simply held some aesthetic aspect that Itachi was into. Whatever it was, it was frustrating. If he could learn what cafe it was, he'd know where Itachi was. Routinely, at least once a week, Itachi went there. If he found the cafe, there was a damn good chance of finding Itachi.

And so Sasuke refreshed the app, and deleted the app, and redownloaded the app. And then repeated the whole process.

* * *

"You know," Ino began conversationally, "You've been on your phone a lot."

"So?" He bit out defensively.

"I'm just saying," She shrugged. "You only have three friends and we're all here right now."

Sasuke deliberately glanced up from his phone in order to waylay suspicion. "I have more than three friends."

"Do you?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"Mm," He looked back to his phone. Refreshed the app. "Suigetsu, Karin, and Jūgo." He wouldn't normally list them as friends - acquaintances maybe - but he wanted to take her attention away from his mobile habits and distract her.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Suigetsu and Karin don't count. They're just trying to get in your pants."

"So?" Sasuke shrugged. It wasn't like he didn't know that.

"You're unbelievable," Ino said, but she grinned. Sasuke rolled his eyes at her antics. "Jūgo's a sweetheart, though. I'm glad you're friends with him." She mused.

Sasuke huffed, deigning not to reply to that. And then he froze.

There was a new post.

He exhaled shakily as he took it in. Another photo of the cafe table, this time the focus being of a latte steaming softly in the middle. No lemon loaf. Just a cup of dark tea with milk added to it. Sasuke didn't even know Itachi took his tea with milk. Maybe he only did for lattes - he didn't know. He didn't know, and that was the whole problem. He didn't know why Itachi had left or what his favorite tea blend was. And he wanted to. Or at least wanted to know why he didn't have the chance to do so.

"Oh are you thinking of going there? The reviews are so-so, but I personally think Cafe Corner's underrated and pretty decent." Ino said conversationally as she peered over his shoulder shamelessly to stare at his phone as well because she got nosy when she was worried. He hadn't even noticed her stand up, fuck, and instinctively he began to hide the phone, too late - but then he froze as he registered what it was that she had said.

" _What?_ " Sasuke asked because she couldn't mean what he thought she meant, it _couldn't_ be that simple.

The blonde gestured to his phone. She didn't seem to find anything amiss or suspicious but Sasuke didn't feel any relief; his heart thud faster and faster because of the chance that this was really happening, that it could be that simple. "That's the Cafe Corner, right? I like their lemon loaves but Sakura likes the cranberry almond loaf better."

Apparently, it _was_ that simple.

* * *

He headed out to the cafe within five minutes upon receiving that revelation. It only took a bus ride and an Uber to get there because he was that close to it; Itachi had been this close to him the whole time Sasuke had been at college. It was a fucking miracle that they were so close, that Sasuke picked here of all places to go to college. Here where Itachi was.

Sasuke went to the cafe. He looked around the room with held breath, hardly daring to breathe in case he missed Itachi over the sound of his own exhales. In the end, it didn't matter. Itachi was long gone.

* * *

So Sasuke went back to his dorm and went back the next day as soon as the very first bus allowed. Itachi wasn't there. He stayed until the sun set and dusk settled firmly. Itachi never came.

And so he went back the day after that. Bright and early until dark and late. Itachi again didn't show.

And so he went back the day after _that_. Itachi, still, never showed. Sasuke would go there every fucking day until he did.

* * *

"Hey," Naruto grabbed his arm the next morning, eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," Sasuke spat and ripped his arm away with more force than necessary. The bus schedule was never entirely accurate and he preferred to arrive earlier just in case, and the blonde was blocking the fucking door -

"I'm worried about you," Naruto continued. "You've been acting weird. Even Sakura thinks so." Sasuke crossed his arms and scowled, not replying. "You're gone all day and come home late at night," Naruto ignored his glare. "Ino says you're not at class either. So what's going on? I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

Sasuke looked Naruto's kindness in the face and shot it down remorselessly because he didn't have time for it, not until after he found Itachi. "I don't need help."

"Sasuke - "

He shouldered past Naruto roughly and walked out the door. He ignored his confused and worried friend calling after him. He couldn't miss what might be his only chance to listen to the blonde's concerns; every time Sasuke went to the cafe and Itachi wasn't there meant another chance gone, another possibility that he had unknowingly wasted his time to find Itachi and now never would.

The bus came late that day, and Sasuke had to wait for it, all the while worrying he had missed it.

* * *

Itachi didn't show that day either.

Sasuke punched a wall in his dorm's living room.

"What the fuck?" Sakura asked. She was heading out to her nursing internship, which primarily consisted of night shifts. She eyed the hole with discontent and then looked at Sasuke similarly to how Naruto had that very morning. "Hey, are you okay? Sasuke?"

"I'll fix the hole," Sasuke promised and stormed away. His knuckles stung.

His heart stung worse.

* * *

He lay in bed for hours, feeling like utter shit. No one disturbed him and he was glad for it. It gave him time to - to cope with his feelings. His anger and sadness and everything in between. And he listened to a breakup playlist of all things because he didn't know how else to capture the feeling of missed connections tinged with anger and sadness besides breakup playlists; he didn't think anyone even made 'I almost found my estranged brother but somehow he's still falling through my grasp and way out of my reach' playlists.

When he felt he had somewhat of a better a handle on his emotions, and was _tired_ of being sad, he hit pause and sat up.

"Hey," Sasuke said only the one word but Ino's head shot up immediately, her gaze unwavering as she studied his face with intense scrutiny. "You want to...hang out?"

Ino's laser-like focus crumpled as she smiled. "Yeah," She answered, the relief plain on her face as she shut her textbook. "Yeah, that sounds fantastic. If I have to read one more word, I'm going to scream."

He was pretty sure that her relief stemmed from Sasuke obviously throwing up the white flag and giving into the fact that he needed help - and had actually reached out to one of them for that help.

"I can grab Sakura and Naruto and we can play Cards Against Humanity?" She offered.

  
  
"Whatever."

She beamed.

He didn't smile back but, for the first time in what felt like a long time, he didn't frown either.

* * *

Sasuke walked into the living room and couldn't remember the last time that he had been in it besides when he was passing through to leave or enter. It was strange, since he hadn't ever intended to avoid the living room. He just hadn't had the time to linger there, not when Itachi was so close.

"Hey," Naruto greeted him, voice soft and very much unlike Naruto's usual cheer. It made Sasuke realize suddenly how his roommates might have perceived his behavior. While he had known that they were worried about him, it hadn't quite registered as important to him until this moment while Naruto's loudness was dampened into quiet.

"Hey," Sasuke greeted, as if he hadn't spent days being a fucking disaster of a human being.

Naruto gave a little laugh, all the unease sliding off his face and melting into happiness. "Hey."

"That's what we both just said, you dumbass," He muttered. The blonde only laughed again, this time louder.

"You gonna play?" Naruto asked, sitting down on one of the two couches. Sakura and Ino weren't even in the room yet and neither was the game. If Sasuke hadn't known about it already, the question wouldn't have made much sense. Sasuke sat down next to Naruto, who grinned. "You _are_ gonna play!" His tone was way too excited about it considering Sasuke hadn't been the best company lately - or even _decent_ company.

"What is that?" Sasuke asked and jerked his chin in inclination to a new painting on the wall that hadn't always been there.

"That?" Naruto followed his gaze. "Oh! That! Well, what did you expect, you asshole? You punched a hole in the wall!"

He scowled. "I said I'd fix it."

Naruto scoffed. "Okay but you _didn't._ Besides, it's ugly. I had to do something! There was a _hole_ in the _wall_."

"So the painting?" He asked, eyeing the orange canvas with disdain.

The blonde's face lit up, his previous irritation gone. "Do you like it? I painted it!"

"Hm." Sasuke didn't like it but clearly his friend did. Sasuke realized belatedly that Naruto was using the painting to strategically hide the hole. And so, apparently it was his own damn fault that it was now there since he had been the one to punch the hole and he had been the one to promise to fix it - but hadn't done so in his obsession of finding Itachi. So he couldn't really blame Naruto for trying to fix it in his own Naruto way. Which...involved an ugly painting.

"I think it brightens up the room! Don't'cha think, Sasuke?" Sasuke eyed the painting - it was _very_ bright orange - and nodded. Naruto was whooping happily when Ino and Sakura walked in.

Sasuke met Ino's amused gaze and turned away as she and Sakura sat down on the other couch; it had been a...good choice to reestablish contact between himself and his friends. He had missed this. Had missed them.

"You ready to lose?" Ino asked, opening the box and dividing the cards among herself and her girlfriend to shuffle; Ino shuffled the white cards while Sakura shuffled the black cards.

"In your dreams!" Naruto challenged.

Sakura shook her head and grinned. "Yeah, _right,_ Naruto." Ino was still shuffling her stack when Sakura leaned forward and placed the black cards on the coffee table.

"No way!" Naruto gasped. Sasuke eyed him curiously as he suddenly shot forward and almost fell of the couch. "No way, no way, no way!" He seized Sakura's hand in between both of his and turned it every which way, as if the sight of a ring would fade in the right lighting if he turned it enough. "You've only been dating for two weeks!"

"Two and a half," Sakura corrected primly as Sasuke took in the sight of her and Ino's matching diamond rings and belatedly realized what Naruto had already realized: they were _engaged_.

"Still!" Naruto spluttered.

"When you know, you know," Ino shrugged.

Sasuke eyed the rings and thought for a moment about what to say. "Congratulations," He said at last and then, "Does this you're moving out into a married dorm?"

"Noooo, no no," Sakura shook her head rapidly. "We are not getting married for a long, long time!" Naruto's face scrunched.

"Then why even get engaged? Why not wait?"

" _Naruto_ ," Sakura hissed.

Ino laughed. "What can I say? We're in love!" Sakura's face turned as pink as her hair but her mouth rose in an incredibly pleased smile. Ino smiled back at her, adoration clear, and she took Sakura's hand from Naruto's and held it. Her ring glistened against Sakura's fingers; Sakura's ring glistened against hers.

Sasuke stared. There was a feeling in his chest that made him just a little bit warm and just a little bit wistful. He was happy, he thought, to see his friends happy. And yet he was also, maybe, a little sad, or maybe a little envious. He wasn't sure. He was happy but not all at once. But...

He was glad Ino and Sakura were happy and in love, he was. They deserved happiness.

"Congratulations!" Naruto beamed and then paused, face oddly pensive. For a moment Sasuke wondered if Naruto was suffering through a similar thought process as himself. "Does this mean you'll _finally_ be willing to swap rooms and stop sexiling me?"

Ino grinned. "Sorry but I'm way too attached to my roommate, so I'll have to decline."

Sakura scoffed. "I'm literally your fiancé!" Which Sasuke thought was a valid point. Ino preferring to room with him over her fiancé was - well it was something. Something that made his lips quirk in one corner as he stared, amused, as his friends bickered good-naturedly between themselves.

"Sasuke and I are peak wlw and mlm solitary and I will not give that up, even you for you, babe." At Ino's reply, Sakura's eyebrows scrunched together in a prelude to a scowl.

"Oh good," Naruto whispered loudly to Sasuke, smiling, "If they fight, I won't be sexiled!" Sakura leaned over and punched him in the thigh, scowl fully formed. "Ow, Sakura!" Naruto pouted.

"Oh, Naruto," Ino shook her head. "Haven't you heard of makeup sex?" Naruto's face fell and then he grimaced into a look of disgust, as he did whenever anyone but himself referenced sex. Sasuke suspected that Naruto didn't feel gross when _he_ was the one to be talking about sex. Possibly because Naruto knew that he lacked the connotations that other people held since he wasn't interested in it at all - was repulsed by it - and possibly because if Naruto was the one to talk about it, he was in control of the conversation and would never take it past his limits. Never breach his discomfort level, unlike when other people talked about it. But Sasuke could only speculate.

"Come on," Sasuke said, changing the subject and kickstarting the reason they had all gathered together, and grabbed a black card. "Let's go."

"Oh," Naruto grinned. "You are _on!"_

Sakura laughed and began to grab her ten white cards. "Yeah!"

Ino and Sasuke once again met each other's gaze. This time, Sasuke did not look away.

* * *

Sasuke studied for midterms. He didn't have time anymore to make flashcards for every class but - but he was getting his life back together again.

Thoughts of Itachi often plagued him. Studying was an effective distraction most of the time.

And when that didn't work, he emerged back to the living room and let himself be absorbed in the life of whoever was there.

Sakura, with her frantic murmuring of illnesses and nursing terminology in between bouts of her trying to catch up on the new season of her favorite show; Sasuke held the tissue box for her as she both yelled and cried when her favorite character died. Sakura, with her face masks on as she tried to self care while she took care of business. Sakura, with her offerings to share her cereal - because she ate it straight out of the box, no milk - while Sasuke somehow got absorbed into the fifth season of her favorite show that he had never seen any of the earlier seasons before but was now, somewhat embarrassingly, hooked on it. The plot was predictable and the love interests were all mind-numbing in how heteronormative they were, and yet Sasuke ended up deeply invested.

Ino, with her quiet turning of pages in their room. She never studied outside of it. She only used the living room for _living_ , and Sasuke both envied that and tried to emulate it. She played Solitaire on the coffee table - with Ravenclaw themed playing cards - and never ended a game halfway through, always saw it until the very end. Ino offered to teach him but he declined. She offered to play poker; they spent half an hour arguing over _what type_ of poker to play. They never ended up agreeing on a version and the next time Ino entered the living room, she offered to play chess instead. When Sasuke agreed, he burst into surprised chuckles because the chessboard was on her phone. Ino shrugged. Sasuke hadn't played chess in... years. She beat him soundly the first match, but after that the matches were more even as Sasuke swung back into the hang of it and grew longer and longer each time they battled their wits against each other.

Naruto, frowning at every subject's study guide, highlighting his textbooks and exclaiming in distress when they bled through to the next page - and then doing it all over again - while he studied. Naruto, rubbing his hands through his hair and declaring his hatred of history. Naruto, fallen asleep spread out on one of the couches, snoring loudly, shading pencils falling from his sleep slackened grip and his life studies of fruit still only halfway finished. Naruto, awake and oddly focused, one pencil between his teeth and two behind each ear and slipping every so often but refusing to set them down on the coffee table and keeping them perched there until they did so again, as he resumed his drawing while awake. Naruto, chattering away, half-distracted but fully animated and sincere, while Sasuke sat and breathed and let tales of Naruto and his dad fill the space of his thoughts so that there wasn't any room for Itachi in them.

And Sasuke, never alone when he needed not to be.

* * *

Sasuke was in his room after his midterms are over. Ino was also finished with midterms, and she had given him back his laptop; he couldn't help but to think about why she had it because midterms were over for him - Naruto and Sakura still had some left - and Christmas break started in two days but technically, right now, Sasuke was done. He had all the time in the world to have another mental breakdown over Itachi.

"I almost found my brother," Sasuke said, unplanned, to Naruto while the two of them were in his room and Naruto was once again regaling him stories of his childhood.

Naruto frowned and sat up from where he was laying on Ino's bed. "I thought you were an only child?" He accepted being interrupted with poise, focused on the new subject with his full being.

And... okay, Sasuke _might_ have had said that in the beginning of term when he did not give a fuck about any of his roommates and had thought that they didn't need to know the intimate details of his life. "I'm not."

"Okay," The blonde said slowly. "So you...have a brother. And you... almost found him? Why did he need to be found? Why almost?"

He regretted bringing Itachi up because it hurt to talk about him - and he didn't even know where to begin - or how to begin without reopening the dark hole in his heart that ached and ached after Itachi had left and after Sasuke had found him but _not_ found him. "He left one day," Sasuke said blankly, like it didn't still hurt. "And I just found him. He has an Instagram. He posts pictures of his visits at a cafe nearby but I haven't caught him going there yet."

Naruto's face softens with such _understanding_ that Sasuke flushed, embarrassed. "Is that why you were so...you know?" 'You know' was probably a euphemism for 'severely depressed and having a breakdown' so Sasuke nodded. "So you've been going to the cafe?" Naruto asked but his eyes were knowing. "And he hasn't shown. No wonder you punched a hole in the wall."  
  
  
Sasuke was never going to live that down.

"He has to show up sometime," Sasuke shrugged, like that train of logic hadn't led him to a path of self negligence and self destruction as he focused unhealthily on it and nothing else.

"If I thought I could find my family by going to a cafe," Naruto said, eyes soft and voice wistful in a way that didn't make much sense since he _had_ a family. "I would go. I would go there every day." And every thought Sasuke had fled him in the wake of Naruto's conviction, the burning passion of his sincerity. Sasuke took a moment to breathe, to try and think. "I wouldn't have punched a wall, though," Naruto mused and kindly said nothing of the rest of Sasuke's mental breakdown. Sasuke's lips quirked.

"Are you going to go back?" Naruto asked, eyes on once again looking his way and the conviction still simmering visibly in the depths of blue. "To find him, I mean."

There hadn't been much of a question. Not really. Sasuke had always known, this whole time.

"Yeah."

Sasuke was going to go back. Every day if he had to. Except, this time, he was going to hold onto his mental health with both fucking hands.

"Hey," Naruto's brow was furrowed. "Do you want me to go with you?"

And that was unexpected. Sasuke blinked and smirked. "Focus on not failing your three last midterms and then we'll talk."

The blonde scowled. "Ugh, you're such an asshole, I'm not going to _fail_."

"Not if you study," Sasuke shrugged, like his heart wasn't beating faster at his resolution to once more find Itachi, like he wasn't emotionally moved by the offer of support from his friend, like he wasn't actively reopening a can of worms that might be _really_ terrible for his mental health, like he didn't feel like he was chasing a ghost from his past.

It made things easier, to not be alone.

To have told someone. To have Naruto on his side even though this was probably going to end in disaster.

Naruto settled back down into laying on Ino's comforter, attention losing the intensity from earlier and shifting back down into casual. As easy as that.

And Sasuke felt like he could _breathe_.

* * *

It took one fucking day of going back to the cafe for Itachi to show up.

One. Fucking. Day.

Sasuke almost screams - because what the fuck - he waited for days and days _and days,_ and now on his first try Itachi walked through the door like it could be that simple. The cafe's bell chime rang in Sasuke's ear as he stared in disbelief from the chair he sat on and did nothing to approach Itachi.

After all that time.

Just like that, Itachi walked into the cafe.

Itachi waited in the short line like any other person. He didn't look like someone who had caused agonizing emotional pain upon his younger brother. He didn't look like he had one day just never come home to his family, never to be heard of again. He looked...like a really tired hipster. He wore an oversized sweater with some band logo and skinny jeans that were cuffed to show muted wool socks before they were cut off by his ankle boots; he looked stupidly cool even though no one really wore skinny jeans anymore. His hair was long and braided so precisely perfect in that messy but intentionally so way that even Ino would have been jealous of it. He had a knitted scarf wrapped around his neck that was frayed around the edges and clearly well worn, well loved.

Itachi didn't look imposing, but Sasuke couldn't bring himself to move, was overwhelmed by the sight of him.

Sasuke watched him order quietly. Watched him tucked a stray piece of hair behind one ear and look so, so -

So human.

So _real_.

* * *

Itachi gathered his tea with careful fingers, head ducked slightly, and sat down at the table that Sasuke had already established was _the_ table.

He drank slowly. Sometimes, when he lifted the tea cup and saucer, his fingers trembled as if a terrible chill had swept through them, and he would set the tea back down again. It was a slow but calm process. Itachi never looked up from his tea, seemed to stay determinedly in his own little hemisphere of himself, the tea, and his table.

Sasuke watched him for a long, long time, and it didn't feel real to see his brother right there before his eyes.

He thought about waiting to adjust to the feeling, about trying to sort out his shit and then getting up. But that might never happen; he might never get over the strange oddity of emotions that course through him at the sight of _his brother_.

So he steeled himself, got up from the table, and walked over even though he wasn't fucking ready.

He might never be ready.

* * *

He didn't say anything. Just picked up the chair across Itachi and sat down.

Itachi looked up and froze. Tea splashed over the side of the brim as his hands shook, and Sasuke felt a surge of dark vindication because Itachi fucking deserved to feel at least _some_ of the shock that Sasuke had to suffer through, deserved to look like his whole world was tilting on an axis because Sasuke had to go through thqt when he left and had to go through it again and again and again -

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked, with wonder - like he wasn't the reason that they hadn't seen each other, like he wasn't at fault. "Sasuke?"

There wasn't any getting used to the rage that Itachi made him feel and now was no exception. He burned, angry, as Itachi looked at him like he had missed him; it couldn't be true because otherwise Itachi would have _come home_.

"Sasuke," Itachi breathed, reverently like a prayer.

And the sound of it tore at Sasuke's heart and made him dare to hope, which was somehow more painful than all of the many, many times he felt like there wasn't any hope at all. So Sasuke clenched his fists underneath the table and got his shit together because he couldn't allow Itachi to have such an effect on him. He couldn't. He _wouldn_ 't.

"You just left one day and never came back." Sasuke said, answered his brother's wonder with anger. Itachi sucked in a sharp breath, as if surprised to have the truth thrown in his face. But if it hurt, Sasuke felt no pity because it had hurt _him_ for _years_. "You never came back. No one would tell me anything. Sometimes I thought maybe you died - " He broke off, turned away, and composed himself once more. Did not allow himself to appear sad even though it broke his heart all of these years. Now wasn't the time and he refused to show any emotion besides anger to Itachi. Because he _deserved answers_ and he wouldn't be distracted with pithy things such as his feelings. He didn't care if it fucking _broke_ him to do it - he _would_ get answers. "Why did you leave?" Itachi grimaced, and Sasuke quickly steamrolled ahead. "Why didn't you come _back?_ What did I _do?_ Why didn't you want to see me anymore?"

"No, Sasuke, no. You didn't do anything," Itachi quietly said, face utterly still but his eyes shone sadly. It was obvious that he was telling the truth, but, to Sasuke, it felt like a lie because if he didn't do anything wrong then how could he just have left him behind? His brother reached across the table and gently took his hand with both of his. "Sasuke, I know this must have been very confusing and painful for you. I am sorry about that. I was selfish. Please forgive me."

And never, in all of the many times he had envisioned how a reunion between them would play out, had he expected Itachi to _apologize_.

The anger fell away, burnt out like a candle suddenly doused with water, and the other thing left in him was his aching sadness. He wanted to be angry because it was easier in the face of a confrontation; instead he only felt miserable and terribly, terribly _sad_.

"I don't understand," He admitted brokenly. "How can I forgive you when I don't understand? Why did you leave? Why didn't you ever come _back?_ At least to visit me!"

Itachi's melancholy smile was such a familiar sight that it took Sasuke's breath away to finally see it again. He almost missed his response, stunned by the revelation that Itachi's smile had always been so _sad_ in his memories and he hadn't ever noticed that until this moment. "I was afraid."

It didn't make any sense. The more that Itachi answered, the more questions he had. "Afraid of what?"

Itachi looked down to his coffee and sighed, lifted his hands from Sasuke to reach for the cup and saucer - immediately Sasuke missed the solid warmth that was proof Itachi was here - and took a sip delicately, unaffected, as Sasuke's pulse pounded in his veins. He braced himself for anything and everything. "I'm dying."

Anything and everything except for that.

"What?" Sasuke whispered.

"Mother and Father already know - "

"You left because you're dying?" Sasuke interrupted harshly, angry and scared and within him his blood boiled and froze all at once. "You were just going to take off and die somewhere _without having spoken to me for years_?" He unthinkingly caused several heads to turn and face their way with his volume but refused to regret it.

Itachi sighed. He set down his cup on the saucer and then set it upon the table. "Sasuke," He said haltingly, like he was choosing his words carefully and found each one lacking, "I didn't just leave because I'm dying. In fact, at the time, I just knew I was sick. I left because - " He stopped himself, inhaled slowly. "I left because I wanted to be free. At the time of my diagnosis, Danzo had been blackmailing me for quite some time. It seemed..." Here he hesitated the longest, and Sasuke almost spoke to break the unbearable suspense of _almost_ knowing what had happened. "It seemed opportunistic to separate myself from him entirely when I now held a legitimate reason for doing so. He could hardly accuse me of not keeping to our agreement if I was putting in my notice due to medical issues and not personal grievances."

"Danzo was blackmailing you?" Sasuke asked, incredulous at the mere idea of it. "You? Of all people? What could he possibly have had on you to warrant blackmail?"

Itachi's sad smile morphed into a grimace. "Sasuke..." He visibly steeled himself. "You may hate me, and that's fine."

"What did you do?" Sasuke whispered, horrified, all of the perceptions he held about his brother shattering as he wondered what terrible thing it was that Itachi had done that could warrant being blackmailed over it.

"I like men."

For a moment, it didn't quite register to Sasuke that _that_ was the confession, that the terrible thing Itachi had done was that. And then realization sunk in. "You've got to be shitting me." Itachi looked away, ashamed, and Sasuke immediately regretted his instinctive outburst. "Not like that. I mean because that's a bunch of fucking bullshit."

Itachi turned back to give him a disapproving look; joke's on him because Sasuke was a fucking adult now so he could curse any damn time he fucking felt like it.

"Danzo was blackmailing you because you're _gay?_ " Sasuke reiterated in disbelief because what the fuck. "What _year_ does he think this is? What year do _you_ think this is? No one cares if you're gay. Just come home already if that's the only thing stopping you."

"It's not that simple - "

"It is," Sasuke refuted firmly. "I'm telling you: no one would care."

Itachi sighed deeply and pinched his nose with one hand. "It's not that simple. Danzo is in charge of the holding company and, even though the Uchiha's run the subsidiary company, he has complete control of everything. Upon a mere word form him, he could dissolve our family business. I refuse for it to be my fault that everything our family has worked for is ruined."

When he put it like that, Sasuke felt small and stupid in a way he hadn't since he was a child. "What, exactly, were the conditions of the blackmail?"

"It doesn't matter now." Itachi once more looked away, face impassive. But Sasuke couldn't forget the shame that had been there only moments before.

And Sasuke seethed. "It matters." His teeth ground against each other as he stared at his older brother and wondered how, how he had never noticed any of this happening. It had to have been there - just like Itachi's sad smile had been there but only now did Sasuke see. His fists clenched as he couldn't help but wonder what else he had missed in his youth. "What were the terms? How long had it been occurring?"

"I shouldn't have told you," Itachi murmured, voice so low it was nearly like he said it to himself and not to his brother. It caused Sasuke to sharply recenter himself and consider approaching this from a different angle.

"You said you were just sick when you left. What changed - when did that change? Is there anything doctors can do?"

Itachi stared blankly at him for a moment, carefully void of emotion, and then frowned. "Sasuke," He responded gently, "There's nothing they can do."

And that hit Sasuke hard in the chest, landed deeply seated between his ribs, and twisted something painfully within him. 

"So come back home," He pleaded. "What does it matter if you come to visit us? Danzo doesn't have to know. You can see Mom and Dad again. You can spend the holidays with us. You can be with us, Itachi."

Itachi didn't answer but without a word being spoken Sasuke still knew that he didn't want to.

"You have to know our parents wouldn't mind." Sasuke tried to reason.

Itachi shook his head. "They would. I know you are trying to...be kind. But they would."

"I'm literally gay," Sasuke said slowly. "They wouldn't care about you being gay."

Itachi blinked but did not waver. 

"Itachi," Sasuke said, voice quiet but sadness loud and screaming. "Please."

His brother sighed, shoulders falling slightly. "Have you ever told any of the family?" Itachi pointed out softly. And, no, Sasuke hadn't exactly but -

"I haven't been subtle," Sasuke replied. But his brow furrowed at the realization that he hadn't actually _said_ it.

Itachi's smile was sad and Sasuke wondered if he had ever seen Itachi smile a happy smile or if he never had and as a kid Sasuke just had been oblivious to it. Because, fuck, Itachi was sad. In the worst of his anger, Sasuke used to curse and wish Itachi to feel the sadness Sasuke did, to have to go through the same turmoil because he deserved it after everything he put Sasuke through. In this moment, Sasuke realized that maybe his wish had come true - had always been granted this whole time without him even realizing it - and maybe Itachi had always been so fucking sad. And it only made Sasuke _even more sad_ to think it.

"Sasuke," Itachi murmured. "Thank you but it simply isn't a good idea to unearth things that are better off buried." 

Sasuke paused. And in his despair and desperation, he tried to think of how he could possibly fix this and make things _okay_. 

"What if I tell them?" Sasuke offered, the beginnings of an idea taking root in his mind and planting itself firmly. It grew with every passing second like an ill advised flower springing through the urban concrete of sidewalk where it didn't belong. "I'll tell everyone that I'm gay."

Itachi shook his head. "Don't out yourself just for my sake."

"I wouldn't," Sasuke lied - and then lied some more. "I was already planning to introduce them to my boyfriend this Christmas."

"You have a boyfriend?" Itachi's eyes gentled, a warmth coming into them. His smile seemed, maybe, a little less sad.

No, Sasuke did not have a boyfriend. He had _never_ had a boyfriend.

"Yeah," He lied because what the fuck did Itachi know about his life? He _could_ have had a boyfriend. Could have had a boyfriend that he had been planning to introduce to the family, Itachi wouldn't know. "It's good timing. You don't have to come out. Just come back to Konoha with me. Spend Christmas with us. And when everyone's fine with me being gay, you can come out too - in your own time." He tacked that on hastily when Itachi flinched. He flinched at the idea of coming out and Sasuke never felt more resolute in doing something. "Come to Christmas. Meet my boyfriend."

Itachi stared at him, silent, with almost no expression at all. He stared long enough that Sasuke began to worry that even this wouldn't be enough to tether Itachi to him - that he'd have to start orchestrating strategies in order to stay in contact with his brother now that he had finally, finally found him because _this wasn't going to work._

"Alright," Itachi said, voice soft and oddly fragile - but Sasuke felt fragile too in that moment, so he understood. "Alright, Sasuke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you were wondering: Naruto's pursuing an art degree but is also getting through his general ed requirements. Sakura's getting a nursing degree. Ino and Sasuke are both getting business degrees and, like Naruto, are taking some of the required gen ed classes.)


	3. the fam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I am aware that 99% of this chapter is Sasuke and his friends and 1% is Sasuke and his family when the chapter title is called "fam" - yes, that's on purpose. Found fam is truly my favorite trope and that's the fam the chapter title refers to. And then it doubles in meaning since Sasuke's literal family is introduced this chapter as well.
> 
> warnings: some sexual humor this chapter by minor characters, brief mentions - in the very beginning of the chapter and at the very end - of Itachi being ill in Sasuke's internal POV but no in depth conversations about it

When he was certain that Itachi wasn't going to vanish, had a better reign on all of the tumultuous emotions coursing through him, and there was a lull in the conversation between the two of them, Sasuke got up and ordered a cup of tea and two slices of lemon loaves. He kept his brother in his peripheral vision the entire time, not truly trusting him to remain put, to not be gone the moment Sasuke glanced away for too long even as Sasuke _felt_ like he wouldn't do that - it wasn't a risk Sasuke was willing to take, especially not over something as asinine as ordering at the counter that he could easily prevent by keeping one eye on his brother.

Itachi accepted the lemon loaf Sasuke sat before him with bewildered wonder, and, for the first time, Sasuke began to ponder whether Itachi was undergoing a feeling similar to the perturbation mixed with marvel that Sasuke was experiencing. Itachi's tentative smile was like a butterfly breaking free of its cocoon, and Sasuke did not want to bear witness to this springtime because it didn't feel _real_ to experience.

"Besides dying," Sasuke said - said to be cruel to himself and to his brother. To punish Itachi for leaving and to punish himself for doubting that Itachi might have had valid reasons for leaving. And mostly said so that the shock of pain rushing through him kept him centered and focused because it felt real - and if it didn't feel real, Sasuke might begin to disassociate. "How have you been?"

Itachi's smile was like a grimace. Familiar, real, and immediately Sasuke wished he had allowed the other smile to live a little longer, even as his relief toward the familiar sight of sad lips flooded through him because _that_ was the smile he knew and loved and had missed so dearly.

"I've been okay," Itachi answered, ever so gently, just as his fingers delicately tore a piece of lemon loaf away from the whole and brought it to his mouth to consume. It sounded, to Sasuke, like a lie covered by a lemon flavoring.

"Good," Sasuke cleared his throat. "That's - good."

And, reunited with his brother and already responsible for the death of his springtime smile, he found himself unwilling to question the answer too deeply. It could wait. He had time to ask later because _later_ was supposed to be an option now. Itachi had been found. Sasuke would not lose him again so easily. Later was, for the first time, a possibility.

"How have you been?" Itachi asked. And looked like he meant it, like he had often stayed up at night like Sasuke had done all these years, wondering how his brother was doing and wondering whether or not he was okay.

"Good," Sasuke replied, and normally he'd leave it at that. But this wasn't normal, and it wasn't the average small talk made by acquaintances. It was Itachi. After all this time, it was Itachi. So he proceeded to tell him of the how's and the why's that made it so, the summation an inter-flux between now and the years Itachi had missed along the way. Maybe it was an apology for his earlier comment. Maybe it was an attempt toward atonement for not believing in his brother and having doubted him. Maybe it was because he wanted his brother to know about his life. Maybe it was because Itachi had asked - as simple as that. Though, many people had asked Sasuke questions before and he had easily ignored them then; so maybe, _maybe_ , it was because he loved his brother and wanted him to be part of his life.

In any case, Sasuke talked. More than he had talked to anyone in a long time - and more _openly_ than he had talked to anyone in a long time.

Itachi listened rapturously. Consuming Sasuke's words like he consumed the lemon loaf Sasuke had bought him - with quiet but distinct joy, patient and quiet but with a fixed concentration. Sasuke was the one who had given both to him. And, somehow along the way, Itachi's unfamiliar springtime smile returned - the one that looked so bizarrely just a little bit happy; and this time, Sasuke let that smile bloom until it blossomed.

And so he talked and talked until hours had passed and Sasuke thought that maybe he could become familiar with this strange springtime smile after all.

* * *

Leaving the cafe was one of the hardest things Sasuke had ever done in his entire life.

Of course, it wasn't the _cafe_ that he was afraid to leave.

Itachi lifted his hand, reached out, and hesitated with his palm hovering inches away from contact before he continued through with the motion and placed that hand upon Sasuke's shoulder.

"I'll see you soon?" That his voice was uncertain, that his inflection had a question within in, it made Sasuke nervous - nervous until he made eye contact with him and saw the desperate hope in Itachi's eyes like _Sasuke_ was the one who was going to disappear.

"I'll see you soon," He affirmed, feeling somewhat awed and somewhat ridiculous. Because how could Itachi be as nervous as himself? Just as terror struck that, if they walked out of this cafe, they would never see each other again despite promising and planning to do so? Sasuke wasn't the one who had left and yet his words visibly soothed his brother's worry.

"See you soon," Itachi repeated, _promised_.

It was still terrifying to leave the cafe but Sasuke somehow managed to do just that.

* * *

"I need... some advice," Sasuke admitted, later when he was back in his dorm living room room with his thumb hovering over where Itachi's cell number was securely registered as a contact in his phone, trying not to dial it as his fears weighed heavily on his mind and he worried that, despite their promises, the two of them wouldn't reunite and that he had squandered his only chance to -

"Ohohoho?" Ino laughed, overly dramatic and clearly enjoying it as she looked up from her magazine and set it aside on the couch besides her, and the jarring noise of her laugh was a soothing interruption to his tirade of nervous thoughts. " _The_ Uchiha Sasuke asking _me_ for advice? Never thought I'd see the day. This ought to be good!"

He could have asked her how to cope with his terror and anxiety about his worries over losing Itachi when he had just found him. He could have explained his obsession and desperation that had led up to this - the relief and anger and sadness that had sprung within him when he confronted Itachi - and he could have talked to her about that as well, the conflicting and overwhelming emotions that had raged within him and were still unsettled and confusing to him. He still didn't understand how he felt about everything and he could have confided in her about that. Could have asked for advice on how to cope with feeling so much emotion - and such complex emotions - when he had been only used to anger and sadness for so long.

But he also had another problem.

"I need to get a boyfriend for the holidays." Sasuke, instead, informed her stoically.

Ino paused, her teasing and over the top laughter subsiding instantly. "And you came to me for advice on how to get one? Me. The raging lesbian."

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "I'm very gay, you're very gay - what's the problem here." At her incredulous look, he continued. "Besides, you seem to know what you're doing since you've managed to get engaged to another woman. That's pretty gay."

"So," Ino steepled her fingers together as she scrutinized him, eyes hardening as she realized it wasn't a prelude to a joke and started to actually get serious about helping him. "You need a boyfriend for the holidays."

  
"A fake boyfriend," He amended. "But, essentially, yes."

"Right." Ino stared at him for a long, long moment. "Why?"

Sasuke paused, immediately dismissed the idea of explaining, and then lied because that was apparently his solution to everything now. "Not important."

Ino clearly didn't believe him - it was obvious in the way her mouth turned down - but she didn't call him out on the lie either. Sasuke knew they were friends for a reason. "Let me think about it," She said slowly, brow furrowed. "I'll get back to you."

He didn't thank her. He just slid his thumb away from Itachi's contact information and hit the home button, exiting the contacts app entirely and opening up the Neko Atsume app.

* * *

She didn't need much time to think, apparently, since she started throwing names at him half an hour later and hadn't stopped yet. "What about Sai?" She suggested, looking at the list of names she had drafted up quickly on the back of a receipt.

"No," Sasuke scowled, glancing at her quickly before returning his attention to his app. "I need someone that I don't want to murder."

Ino nodded and then crossed the name off of the list with a glittery gel pen that he was pretty sure belonged to Naruto. "Okay, then. Gaara."

Deeply unimpressed by her sense of humor, Sasuke looked up completely from his phone to glare at her. Upon seeing her expression however and realizing that _it wasn't a joke,_ he sighed. "I didn't think it needed to be said but let me clarify this: I need someone that I don't want to murder _and_ who doesn't want to murder me."

"What about Rock Lee?" She asked, while scratching off Gaara's name as well.

The mere thought of it had Sasuke's eyes widening slightly in horror. "No. I'd be exhausted and, like I said, I need someone that I don't want to kill immediately."

"Well, if we're eliminating everyone that you'd want to kill, then _that_ isn't exactly a very long list," She pointed out. "There isn't even _a_ list. Just me, really, and I'm not a boy, so." She set down the receipt with her list on the coffee table and stared at him, waiting for his response. Probably waiting for his rejoinder.

Except...she was right. He couldn't argue with her because she was right; there really wasn't anyone that he could think of that he wouldn't want to immediately dispose of.

"This is never going to work," He mused, frowning. He looked despairingly at the Pumpkin and Marshmallow cats lounging in his Yard and then closed the Neko Atsume app completely, giving the fuck up on it for now because he used the app to relax and right now he was not relaxed and it was pointless to try.

"Well," Ino said with a slow frown as well, "it'd help if I actually knew the circumstances surrounding _why_ you need a fake boyfriend; then I could determine what specifications would be more suitable to your agenda."

She was right. Still, the thought of saying that the circumstances were that he was trying to prove that his family would accept a gay son to his estranged older brother, who had been blackmailed for his sexuality and the only reason he had been able to get away from that was due to his terminal illness -

Yeah, so he didn't say anything.

He stared silently and resolutely at his phone and pretended that he was so fucking absorbed in its contents that he wouldn't have to deal with anymore questions should Ino ask them, even though he was literally just swiping between pages of apps on his home screen.

After a long minute of silence, Ino sighed. There was a crinkling sound as she picked up the receipt. "How about Kakashi?"

"Our _economics professor?_ " He asked incredulously and looked up from his phone that he was pretending to be on to stare at her in shocked repulsion. "What is _wrong_ with you?"

She shrugged, twirling the gel pen between her fingers leisurely. "He's hot."

"You can't even see his face, what the fuck do you mean that he's hot?"

"Plus," She continued, ignoring both his question and his disgust, "He has extreme twink vibes."

"What the fuck?" He asked again, mystified and disturbed. And he didn't mean to indulge her in this but he couldn't help to point out, "No he doesn't."

"He's either a twink or a twunk, and that's the facts," Ino shrugged again, completely unapologetic about it.

"No he's not," He repeated again - because it was true. He wasn't. Ino was just saying weird shit and Sasuke was going to have to try and not think about this clusterfuck of a conversation come next semester when Kakashi was lecturing.

"Plus, have you _seen_ his husband? He's a total beefcake. His thighs are thicker than Kakashi's head. Beefcake bear and twink? Match made in heaven. Ergo, Kakashi's a twink."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "He doesn't become a twink just because he has a thicc husband."

Ino raised her eyebrows. "Ergo," She said pointedly, as if in victory. "Twink."

"He's not a twink," Sasuke protested one final time, despite knowing how futile of an effort it was because she wasn't changing her mind and he knew it. He couldn't help it; she was _wrong_ and he _had_ to tell her.

"Who's not a twink?" Naruto asked curiously as he stumbled through the door, balancing his things precariously in one arm while he fumbled with pulling his keys out of the lock.

"Kakashi."

Naruto spun to look at them and dropped two textbooks while doing so. "What the fuck?" He cried out, eyes wide. "Why would you even say that? What even brought _that_ up?"

Ino's eyes narrowed, and Sasuke braced himself for her rebuttal because clearly she felt very strongly on her stance that their economics professor was a twink; it didn't come. What she said instead was worse. "You should take Naruto."

"No," He shot down the idea immediately.

"Take me where?" Naruto asked, having finally settled his things down on the living room table and having shut the door behind him.

"No," Sasuke repeated, eyes narrowing.

"Then who are you going to take?" She lifted her eyebrows in challenge, smirking. In the wake of her smugness, he wondered why he ever thought it was a good idea to ask her for advice. He would almost, _almost_ prefer to still be talking about Kakashi being a twink or not. Almost but not quite.

"Shikamaru."

"He won't do it," She pointed out. Which - he knew that. It was just the first option that he could think to name that didn't drive him up the fucking wall at the mere thought of it. Actually, maybe he _should_ fucking take Shikamaru if his other options were fucking Sai, Gaara, Rock Lee, his goddamn economics teacher, or Naruto.

"Hey, is anyone gonna tell me what's going on?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms stubbornly in a stance that Sasuke recognized to mean that the blonde was preparing to wait eons until he got an answer. A mountain who could only be moved by erosion which was equally as stubborn and patient as to the mountain.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes as, in that moment, he knew that somehow he was going to end up bringing Naruto. It was strategically sound _in theory_ \- but simultaneously it was also the worst fucking idea ever to have occurred to either Sasuke _or_ Ino.

"No," Sasuke directed the word to Ino, ignoring Naruto completely. Naruto huffed, having taken it as an answer to his question even though it hadn't been intended as such.

"Hmm," Ino finally smiled. "You sure?"

Sasuke gave one last scowl and then didn't reply, stormed away to their room wordlessly, and locked the door behind him.

"So what was that about?" He could hear Naruto ask even through the closed door.

Sasuke flopped on the bed and tried not to listen. He didn't try very hard.

"Oh, don't you worry about it," Ino replied loftily. "You'll end up finding out sooner or later."

"Ino!" Naruto whined.

She didn't give an inch, wasn't swayed by any of his many impatient demands to know. A mountain met by a great coral reef, neither giving way to the other and neither moving to be budged anywhere. Forces of nature coming to battle and neither yielding.

Sasuke sighed.

He got up and unlocked the door.

Ino had a key to their shared room anyways, so it wasn't not like she really would have been locked out - but it was the point. The gesture of it.

When she later turned the handle and found that it opened easily underneath her hand, she'd know.

Maybe it was one reason why Sasuke and her worked as friends. She often - not always but often enough - picked up on his stupidly obtuse symbolism where other people might need actual words to decode. Words that sometimes Sasuke found it near impossible to say.

* * *

Besides, when it came down to it, Ino was right.

Sasuke broached the subject the next day when the was the dorm was empty, pulling aside Naruto for a private word the moment he came through the door after a grocery trip.

"I need," Sasuke said, trying to decide on how to best introduce the subject and deciding on frankness as an opening and then delving into more details as he fielded questions from Naruto. Already it was difficult for him; admitting that he _needed_ something from Naruto was admitting that Sasuke was reliant upon someone else because he was incapable of doing that something by himself. To him, it meant _failure_ to ask for assistance - to his roommates, it meant friendship. Sasuke wasn't sure if he'd ever feel that way but he was endeavoring to try. "For you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

"Okay," Naruto agreed. And then he continued on to the kitchen. Like the conversation was over.

Sasuke, stunned, called after him. "I wasn't finished."

"Oh," Naruto turned and then shifted the bags of groceries to one grip so that he could wave his free hand magnanimously at Sasuke in signal to continue.

"I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend at my parents' house. For the entire winter break. I'm willing to pay for your plane ticket to Konoha in exchange."

Naruto squinted. "Okay?" He asked like a question and then added on, "I already said yes, you know." 

Sasuke huffed out an irritated breath. "Don't you have any questions? You don't even want to know why I need a fake boyfriend or what that would entail? You agreed really quickly."

Naruto shrugged. "Well, I didn't really think about it, you know? I figured why not?" As Sasuke stared at him, horrified and amazed at his thinking, he continued, "Besides, it's _Christmas_ and you're my friend. Plus, you're kind of hot, so like." Naruto shrugged. Sasuke desperately wanted to know what that shrug was supposed to mean. "Okay, so what would it 'entail'?" Naruto set down his bag of groceries on the counter and then lifted both hands to mime finger quotations as he used the same word Sasuke had.

And Sasuke abruptly realized at that moment that he had no fucking idea what having a fake boyfriend would entail.

"Holding hands?" Naruto continued, oblivious to Sasuke's plight. "Kissing?"

"We'll figure it out," Sasuke hastily decreed and then turned to flee.

"Hey! Hey, it's Ino's night to make dinner, you don't want to stay?" Naruto called after him as he quickly made his way through the living room and swung open the front door.

Sasuke paused, fingers still gripping the doorknob, because no one else in the dorm besides himself had the ability to cook to his standards - because he was fucking superb at cooking - but Ino was the closest one of the three they got. And then he walked out and took deliberate care to not slam the door behind him.

* * *

"Hey!" Sakura beamed at him, like a pink ambush as soon as he came through the door after a morning run. Sasuke suddenly realized that it was a favored tactic among the four of them to waylay people by the door since he had _just_ done so to Naruto yesterday. That... was something to be on the lookout for then. "Sasuke, you want to help me with something?"

"Nope." He answered swiftly.

"Great!" Sakura continued cheerfully, disregarding his response. "Follow me!" She turned to the kitchen. He watched her go, prepared to ignore her request. "Come on, Sasuke!" She called. He sighed.

"This better not take long," He said as he entered the kitchen.

"Why?" She grinned. "You got other places to be?"

And, okay, no. He didn't. But he still didn't really want to do - whatever this was. He was giving it thirty seconds to hear what she had to say - and then if he saw no need to stay, he was walking out without even bothering to continue his earlier refusal.

"So I've been trying to make Ino a candle for Christmas!" Sakura began to explain as she rummaged into the pantry and pulled out ingredients from the very bottom shelf that none of them tended to use because it always jammed up. "Except, it hasn't been turning out so well, and I thought that maybe it's because I've been half focused on making sure Ino isn't about to walk in here and see her Christmas gift. So that's where you come in! I need you to make sure Ino doesn't come into the kitchen, okay?"

And that? That didn't sound too hard. He put his refusal on the back burner and rolled his eyes as he realized he was cooperating. "Hm. So I'm just watching for Ino."

"Well, and stalling her if she does try to come in here, but yes." Sakura nodded and began to microwave something. "Sound good?"

"Whatever," He turned his back to her so as to keep a diligent watch. The living room was - shockingly, Sasuke thought sarcastically - empty. As it had been this whole time and as it would be because Ino and Naruto were both gone.

"Thanks, Sasuke!" Sakura said cheerily.

"Why don't you just _buy_ her a candle?" He asked, not really caring but somewhat curious.

"You don't have a single romantic bone in your body, Sasuke," Sakura chided him. He shrugged off the comment. "Besides, I'm trying to make her a soy candle since paraffin candles are, like, _super_ bad for you. Maybe paraffin isn't the one that's bad for you. Maybe it's just the petroleum."

"And you can't buy her a soy candle?" He asked doubtfully as he heard her stop the microwave.

"I... I _can_. It's just - not the same as _making_ one for her. Besides, they're way cheaper if you make them yourself. Well. They're cheaper if you make a couple of them and so I'm going to give one to my parents too. Plus I can give one to you and Naruto actually, now that I think of it. Also my Secret Santa, huh!" She resumed the microwave once more.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Sasuke asked, somewhat surprised by her mentioning her parents since he had been under the impression that she and Ino were staying at the dorm.

"Oh, oh no I'm not - they're going on a cruise for the holidays, so, like, they won't be home, you know? - I'm going to mail it to them though."

Sasuke didn't say anything in reply.

Sakura continued as if he had. "Yeah, so the actual candle making is kind of easy. It's the scents that's giving me trouble. I'm using fragrance oils but, like, they're just not going the way I thought they would."

"Terrible," He said monotonously. From here, he could see the orange monstrosity of a painting that Naruto had hung and it was filling him with a slowly building amount of disgust the longer he stared at it. He tried not to look at it at all - but it was so fucking bright that it kept catching his eye. He felt like he finally understood that phrase about people not being able to look away from car crashes because, fuck, he couldn't stop himself from glancing at the painting at least every so often.

"It is!" She agreed. "While I make it, the scent throw has been amazing," Sakura huffed angrily. "It's the cold throw that's nonexistent. Which is frustrating but fine. I can live with no cold throw. But I can't live with how then after it cures, the _hot_ throw all but disappears. You light the candle and basically nothing. It's so frustrating! I know it smells good - it's just getting the smell to last that's been tricky!"

"Hm," Sasuke eyed her thoughtfully over his shoulder as she checked the thermometer stuck in the measuring cup and clicked her teeth in annoyance. The pinkness to her hair seemed less saturated in contrast to the orange painting seared into his retinas - corneas, whatever it was that saw things, the orange painting was imprinted on all of that shit.

"Barely too hot, I have to wait for it to cool a little otherwise the flashpoint is, like..." She trailed off and then continued with a distracted "Ugh."

The scent of almond suddenly filled the air before the stronger scent of lemon smothered it, followed by the even stronger scent of rose.

"Just have to make sure the wicks are centered now..." Sakura updated him.

"Are you doing more than one scent?" He asked, frowning. Because it was a lot going on.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I am. A couple almond ones for Ino, a few rose ones for me, and everyone else will probably get the lemon ones. Actually, I can even give one of whatever turns out best to my Secret Santa."

That made more sense - the distinct, separate flavors. He had been worried that she was mixing all three scents together because they didn't really go. "So did it work?" He asked and turned to look. Sakura made a noncommittal noise as she tied the last wick of the bunch to a piece of string that over hanged outside the glass and taping it down, presumably to assist in keeping the wick straight.

"Have to wait for them to solidify and then I can test it. Hopefully it did though since I tripled the scent load." She paused, considering. "If this doesn't work, I'm going to try palm wax and see how that goes but maybe it's my fragrance oils. I wanted to use essential oils but, like, ugh the flashpoints on those are unreal and nooo thanks."

"Right," Sasuke said mildly because she kept talking to him like he had a clue about candle making when he didn't.

"Thanks for your help, Sasuke!" She grinned at him while twisting the Mason jar lids on.

"Yeah, well, Merry Christmas." He responded awkwardly. Out of the three roommates, Sakura was the one he was the least close to. Ino was his actual _roommate_ roommate and best friend. Naruto was his other best friend. Sakura was... Sakura was the roommate that had a near obsessive crush on him at the beginning of term and who he had admittedly avoided for a long time because of it. Somehow along the way, Sakura had calmed down and had treated Sasuke like an actual person instead of an obsession and he had reluctantly endured her presence only to discover that she was actually smart and sometimes even funny, more than bearable at any rate. They were friends now, sure, and sometimes he thought that he was the only one of the two of them that felt any sort of lingering awkwardness between them. He still avoided her out of instinct sometimes and, to be honest, he didn't really feel bad about that because she had been really, _really_ obsessed with him. He was still working at not immediately dodging her presence; admittedly, he wasn't really working all that hard at it.

She snorted. "Can you, like, act surprised when I give you and everyone candles for Christmas?"

Sasuke lifted his eyebrows and didn't bother to deign that with a response either way.

"Okay, yeah," Sakura agreed, seemingly have taken something from that. She carefully used the hot pad holders and gathered the jars one at a time, placing them on the bottom drawer of the pantry with graceless almost bumbling difficulty since the drawer didn't pull out all while trying to not disturb the wick too much; it was much easier to grab containers _out_ of the broken drawer than to put them _in_ it.

"That's a terrible hiding spot," Sasuke critiqued.

"Shut up, no it isn't," She argued without pause. "No one ever goes in this drawer because it's such a pain in the ass."

"If Ino finds it, it's your own fault."

"I'm _literally_ going to wrap these _tomorrow_. Well. If they turn out."

"And if they don't turn out?"

Sakura stood, having finally transferred all of the hot jars to the drawer. "Then you guys get nothing. My parents get a card. And Ino gets an IOU for something, My Secret Santa... I don't know - I'll figure it out. _If_ it doesn't work."

Sasuke paused. "I don't suppose you have an extra lemon one I could buy to...give to someone."

Sakura eyed him with blatant curiosity but restrained herself from asking whom. "Sure. Yeah, of course."

The lemon scent lingered in the air along with almond and rose, and he couldn't help but to think of shaky hands holding a cup of tea, a slice of lemon loaf on a plate before them.

"Thanks."

Sasuke didn't know if Itachi liked candles. He looked pretty hipster, so he _probably_ did because Sasuke thought that maybe candles were something that hipsters liked. But it didn't matter that Sasuke didn't know - because _he was going to find out._

* * *

"Hey, we should practice being boyfriends," Naruto said casually. He was in Sasuke's room studying for his art history midterm while Sakura was sleeping in their room before her night shift, and he had wanted to not disturb her sleep since the two of them still had finals to complete and needed all the rest they could get; Ino was out having a girls' night with some of her friends and thus Sakura had the whole room to herself. Sasuke _could_ have had his room to himself in Ino's absence but, well, _Naruto_.

When Sasuke had let him into his room two hours ago, he hadn't expected _this_.

Sasuke stood up from his bed because he couldn't handle being in the same room and hearing this, this was why this was the worst fucking idea ever to ask Naruto to help him because, fuck, this was not a conversation he wanted to have ever.

"Wait!" Naruto quickly stood up as well and blocked the doorway. "Wait, wait, wait, just listen - "

Sasuke turned directions and fled to the bathroom instead.

"You can't keep running away, you bastard!" Naruto repeatedly smacked his palm softly on the bathroom door, a dull thudding that wouldn't disturb Sakura from here. "What are you going to do when we're at your parents' house? Run away? Because - newsflash! - that'll give away the whole thing if you keep running away from me, your boyfriend."

And, okay, _fuck_ that was a good point.

Sasuke threw open the bathroom door and Naruto's palm jerked abruptly in order to not smash into Sasuke's nose.

"Oh, I didn't think that would work," Naruto said and stared at him in concern.

"I'm not practicing kissing you," Sasuke said calmly, composed like a fucking adult even though he was ready to dart out the door the moment Naruto moved so much as an inch.

"Oh, gross, no," Naruto agreed, nose scrunched, and Sasuke's brain short circuited because what the fuck was _that_ supposed to mean? "No, hear me out, seriously. I think we should practice being boyfriends. Like, we're gonna look super awkward because you have some sort of - " Naruto paused, searching for a word and clearly not finding it, " - Some sort of _thing_ about this whole thing, and we need to get used to each other before we're at your parents and they're like 'why are you two so awkward' - I mean, like, more than they normally would. _Anyways_ ," He waved a hand as if to erase his overflow of words and start afresh, "We should practice. Pick a day and a time and just - give it a test run, you know?"

"In a controlled environment." Sasuke realized the idea had merit. He could feel his jaw untensing, shoulders lowering from their raised position, as he began to calm down a little. Naruto unfortunately was right: Sasuke had a _thing_. He hadn't realized that _he_ was going to be an issue when it came to the arrangement but, lo and behold, Sasuke was fucking up his own fucking plan and Naruto was the voice of reason. Incredible. Absolutely fucking incredible.

"Yeah!" Naruto beamed. "And I realize that you're, like, having issues or something about us being boyfriends - "

"I'm not having issues," Sasuke lied, despite having already realized that he was.

"But if we do a practice run first, we can work around those issues better," Naruto said blithely, unconcerned by Sasuke's denial. "Yeah?"

Sasuke stared at the smiling face of his best friend, who was just trying to help, and sighed. "Yeah. Whatever."

Naruto grinned.

"Now go back to studying," Sasuke ordered firmly. At that, Naruto's grin fell immediately. Sasuke exhaled a breath through his nose in amusement, almost, almost akin to a snicker.

* * *

The second time Sasuke saw Itachi, it still stole his breath from his lungs.

Sasuke walked into the cafe _knowing_ that Itachi was going to be there - and was expecting him. They had planned to meet together. Sasuke had checked his phone upwards of twenty times in order to ensure that he was reading the text message right, that the date and time he was reading was accurate. In all honestly, Sasuke had probably checked it closer to fifty times than twenty. - and yet the sight was shocking. Almost as much as it had been the first time.

"I took the liberty of ordering you a slice," Itachi said in lieu on a greeting as Sasuke sat down across from him. Sasuke didn't have the heart to tell him that he thought the lemon slice to be just so-so and would prefer to try another flavor; he would next time.

The concept of there being a _next time_ still sent chills down his spine.

* * *

"How have you been?" Itachi asked quietly. His hands shook as he tore pieces of lemon bread away from the slice. He hadn't ordered any tea, and Sasuke wondered if he hadn't wanted any or if he hadn't wanted to further showcase the trembling, a more starkly noticeable thing when it sloshed tea over the brim of a teacup.

"I've been good." Sasuke answered honestly. "Midterms were exhausting but I'm done with them now."

"That's good," Itachi nodded. "How do you feel about them?"

Sasuke noted the question and smiled. How did he feel about them versus how he thought he had done on them. "Fine."

"It's important to rest afterwards. I hope you're getting enough sleep," Itachi said softly. Years and years ago, Sasuke might have taken those words as criticism. Now, Sasuke was able to glimpse the genuine sincerity - that Itachi truly hoped Sasuke was sleeping enough and getting enough rest. It felt weird to hear the sentiment from him, when he hadn't heard so much from him at all in so very long.

There was such a long time that Sasuke had wondered if his brother had ever cared about him.

Looking at him now, Sasuke concluded that he had. Very much so.

"Are you packed yet for Saturday?" Sasuke asked him.

Itachi paused, fingers stilling. And Sasuke froze as well, worrying that Itachi had decided not to go after all.

"I am," Itachi finally answered.

At that, the relief swept through him. But also the guilt. He didn't know if it was the right thing - to push Itachi into going home for the holidays when he so clearly didn't want to - but Sasuke couldn't help it. He wanted Itachi to come home. To come home with him.

He just wanted one Christmas season with him. It wasn't too much to ask for, Sasuke justified to himself, when Itachi had missed so many of them.

"My boyfriend and I are renting a car." Sasuke informed him, and it felt downright bizarre to address Naruto as his boyfriend even if Naruto had been so easy going about doing so. "You're welcome to join us if you don't mind the wait, or you can Uber straight home from the airport."

Itachi's lips quirked. "Sasuke, you're not old enough to rent a car."

Sasuke blinked. "What?"

Itachi made a soft noise. Belatedly, Sasuke realized it was a demure laugh. "I can rent it if you want," Itachi offered. "If you don't mind the wait, that is."

Sasuke's own mouth pulled upwards. A joke. Itachi had cracked a joke.

"I don't mind," Sasuke assured him.

"Sounds like a plan then, hm?" Itachi asked but sounded like he already knew the answer.

Sasuke, too, knew the answer.

"What's your boyfriend like?" Itachi asked, voice as soft as always but eyes intent.

Sasuke considered how best to describe him and then proceeded with honesty. "He's like the sun." The wonder in his brother's eyes already made the whole charade worth it.

"I see. I'm glad."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Sasuke asked curiously, wondering if Itachi had had one when he was younger and Sasuke had just never noticed.

Itachi paused, a sad and complicated expression crossing his face. "Not exactly."

"Oh," Sasuke realized. He had assumed that Itachi would have had one. Sure, Sasuke hadn't had a boyfriend yet. But most people Sasuke's age did. And Itachi was older than Sasuke. It seemed surprising that he hadn't had one yet. Even if he couldn't do so when he was younger because he was closeted, surely when he had left he was free to date? Wasn't he? Itachi didn't elaborate on his answer. And so Sasuke didn't ask. But the unease remained despite Sasuke knowing that some gay people took longer to date than others - he himself was included in that - but the way Itachi's face had looked when he said it... It left Sasuke uneasy and a little sad.

So he dropped the subject. And he, instead, spoke more about the sun named Naruto and his brilliant warmth and luminescence. And took special pride in the way Itachi softened around the edges, the soft, soft way that he smiled while he listened as Sasuke went on and on and on.

* * *

Itachi took a picture of their empty plates together, the smattering of lemon loaf crumbs barely visible upon the floral porcelain. He carefully considered filter choices and then posted it to Instagram. Saying goodbye again to him was just as terrifying as last time had been - except it was also, in a way, easier this time. Possibly because Sasuke knew a as much as he _could_ know - that he would see him on Saturday.

Later, when Sasuke was back at his dorm, he stared at that photo for almost an hour. 

He felt warm. And _happy_.

Itachi added a hashtag that consisted of several happy face emojis with the occasional lemon emoji dotted throughout. It didn't really mean anything to Sasuke when he saw it other than that Itachi was happy = but that _he_ was the one who had made Itachi so happy meant everything to him. The caption before the hashtag read "Forever - is composed of Nows - " and Sasuke read it again and again until his eyes blurred.

Tears felt an awful lot like an Emily Dickinson poem.

* * *

Naruto, the last of the four of them, was finally done with midterms come Tuesday evening. They decided to celebrate together by marathonning the Harry Potter movies in their living room. His roommates were keen on spending more time together before the holidays and now that midterms were over for all of them, they vocalized the need to hold more movie nights and to maybe increase the days they all got together for dinner. Sasuke listened quietly as they excitedly planned while he switched out the first movie for the second one.

"Hey, what house are you guys?" Sakura asked halfway into _The Chamber of Secrets._

"Ravenclaw," Ino answered lazily. Sasuke nodded at her answer - it made an ample amount of sense.

"Same," Sasuke said.

"Wait, really?" Sakura asked and even Ino looked at him in surprise. Which was strange. He eyed them back, confused.

"I would've thought you'd be Slytherin," Naruto mused.

Sasuke scoffed.

"Are you telling me that you aren't ambitious and cunning?" Ino challenged with a raised eyebrow.

Which. Okay, yeah, that was fair.

"I would have placed a bet on Slytherin," Naruto continued and proceed to eye Sasuke with actual skepticism. "An actual, literal money bet. Like! I can't believe you're trying to say that you're not in Slytherin? I'm not sure if we should believe you?"

"Well, I got Ravenclaw, so I don't know what else to tell you," Sasuke scowled.

" _Yeah_ , but - "

"I'm in Gryffindor," Sakura interjected before they could continue to argue about which house Sasuke truly belonged in.

"Oh, nice." Naruto nodded, suitably distracted. "Harry Potter's house."

"What about you?" Sasuke asked, upon realizing that so far the blonde hadn't said.

"Me?" Naruto blinked and then he laughed. "I thought it was kind of obvious!"

So, Gryffindor then.

"I got Hufflepuff obviously!" Naruto bragged. And, in hindsight, Sasuke realize that, yeah, it was obvious. No one was more loyal than Naruto nor more compassionate. It was a strange sort of compassion since Naruto was the first person ready to yell at someone that they were an asshole - but his compassion was what had amassed such a collection of friends. From Ino and to Sakura to even Sasuke himself - to people like fucking Gaara and Sai. Naruto was very much suited for Hufflepuff, and it seemed strange to think that he had assumed the blonde would be in Gryffindor because he could now only envision Hufflepuff as the house for Naruto.

"Hm," Sasuke replied.

And then the movie picked up because the intro was over, and the thread of conversation fell to quiet amity instead of further verbal communication. Which Sasuke appreciated immensely.

* * *

"Hey," Naruto got up and nudged at Sasuke's shoulder while he was switching the Blue Rays from _Prisoner of Azkaban_ to _Goblet of Fire_. "I'm getting snacks, do you want something?" Sasuke merely looked up at him, not answering. "Ino, Sakura, do you want anything?" Naruto turned to ask the two girls snuggling on the other couch.

"Nah, I'm good," Ino said and held up her family sized bag of Reese's Pieces that she and Sakura were sharing.

"Thanks though," Sakura added.

"'Kay, be back real quick. Don't start it without me."

Sasuke stood, stretched for a quick moment, and sat back down on the couch he and Naruto were sharing.

"So," Ino looked at Sasuke and he flicked his gaze to her. "You never answered about the party. Are you going home to Konoha? Because we'll plan accordingly."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm leaving this weekend. Saturday morning."

Ino nodded. "Okay, that's soon but still enough time to get everything together. Everyone already knows who they have for Secret Santa; I'll just make sure that they know that they have a couple days to get their shit together and that's it. Sound good?"

"Mm."

The sound of the microwave starting up trailed into the kitchen from the living room.

"Nice," Ino nodded. "Oh!" She snapped her fingers as if in realization. "Hey, it'd be awkward maybe since I made the Secret Santa without them - but you can still invite your friends to the holiday party if you want."

" _What_ friends?" Sasuke asked, bewildered.

"Ha! I fucking _knew_ you didn't have other friends!" Ino crowed while Sakura cackled.

"Oh," Sasuke realized belatedly and recalled vaguely that he _had_ lied to her about having friends. "Yeah, no, they're not my friends."

"Even if they're not your _friends_ , you can still invite them if you want to," Ino offered graciously, still vividly amused at his expense since she caught him out in a lie.

"I'd rather not."

Sakura sunk her head against Ino's shoulder in an attempt to muffle her snickers. It didn't work. Not even over the sound of what was clearly popcorn kernels popping in the microwave.

"You could still _un_ invite Rock Lee," Sasuke countered casually.

"Oh, fuck you," Sasuka scowled, a strange juxtaposition to her lingering amusement.

Ino lightly slapped her shoulder.

"You're _engaged_ , asshole," Naruto called out from the kitchen, making the joke before Ino could. "Stop flirting with Sasuke."

Sakura flushed deeply. "I am _not flirting_ with Sasuke!"

Ino shrugged, her fiance's head rising with the movement of her shoulder which it leaned upon. "You kind of are, babe."

"Ugh!" Sakura shoved her face more firmly against Ino and her next words came out semi-muffled. "You guys are the worst!"

Naruto strode in the living room with a bag of microwaved popcorn and a bag of chips. " _Actually_ , we're the _best_."

Sasuke leaned forward and snatched the bag of chips from Naruto's grasp.

"Hey!"

"These are mine." Sasuke tore them open.

"Okay but I bought them," Naruto countered. "You were _supposed_ to Venmo me but you didn't."

"No." Sasuke was pretty sure. " _You_ were supposed to Venmo me and I'd pay you back for it."

Naruto squinted. Sasuke deliberately crunched down on a chip and watched Naruto squawk in indignation.

Sakura lifted her head to stare judgmentally at them. "Us combining the shopping and taking a designated cooking turn is supposed to make things easier, you guys, not make you guys argue."

The blonde stuck his tongue out at her. "We weren't even arguing about the cooking rotation," He pointed out with a roll of his eyes.

Naruto's phone chimed and he took it out to check the notification.

Unimpressed, he slowly looked over his phone to peer down at Sasuke. "Did you really have to describe the request as 'there now stop fucking crying about my chips' because wowwwww."

Sasuke met his gaze unashamedly. "Mm."

"Just accept the transfer already, you dumbass." Ino advised.

Naruto scowled. But then did exactly that.

Finally, Naruto took a seat on the couch next to Sasuke. Sasuke eyed him for a moment and then held his bag of chips as far away from the blonde as possible.

"Oh, come on! I'm not going to steal your chips!"

"Hm."

"God," Sakura groaned, "It's like living with toddlers. What's with all the arguing?"

Naruto waved a lazy hand. "Sasuke's just testing boundaries before we become boyfriends. It's not a big deal but it's kind of annoying, you know?"

Immediately Sakura straightened up, her jaw dropped. "What did you just say?

"It's _noooot_ a big deal."

"You and Naruto?" Eyes wide, Sakura turned to Sasuke and ignored Naruto entirely.

"Wow," Ino said dryly and nonsensically, "Who would've seen _that_ coming?"

"No," Sasuke answered firmly. Sakura sputtered. Ino rolled her eyes.

"Oh!" Naruto laughed. "Yeah, no, we're just pretending. Actually, we're not even pretending. Not yet anyways. But like - we _will_ be pretending."

Ino sighed. "Oh, damn, I should've guessed, ugh." She sounded suspiciously disappointed.

"Pretending?" Sakura demanded, eyes still wide.

Ino patted her fiance consolingly on the shoulder. "There, there, I'll explain it to you when you're older."

Sakura's face turned red as she scowled fiercely. She lightly socked Ino's bicep with a mumble of, "Shut up, oh my God."

Nonplussed, Sasuke continued to eat his chips.

"Hey." Naruto leaned towards Sasuke and dropped his voice, outstretching one hand conspicuously. "Hey, can I have some?"

Sasuke glared. "Fuck you," He said because he _knew_ it - he just knew it. And then he angrily grabbed a handful and dumped them on the upturned palm. Naruto whooped in delight.

"Thanks!" He said and loudly and noisily began to crunch on the chips.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Ino and Sakura bickered between themselves about the logistics of Sasuke and Naruto dating while Naruto obliviously ate Sasuke's chips even though he had claimed that he wouldn't, even though he had a bag of popcorn right fucking there.

These were Sasuke's friends.

Pathetic.

Sasuke hid his smile by shoving another chip in his mouth.

Next to him, Naruto did the same thing - but his smile was blatant and unmistakable, not even attempted to be hiding in the first place.

"Hey," Naruto whispered as if conspiring and extended his unopened bag of popcorn towards Sasuke. "You want some popcorn?"

And Sasuke did. If only to accept the olive branch between them. That, and because he was petty enough to eat Naruto's snacks if Naruto was so keen on eating Sasuke's snacks.

* * *

"Have you packed yet?" Sasuke asked him on Wednesday; they left Saturday morning. The blonde froze.

"Uh?"

"Oh my God." Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me that you have laundry clean."

"I have laundry clean!" Naruto informed him defensively.

"Okay, good." That was one less issue to resolve. "Let's go." He stood up.

"Go?" Naruto asked, brows furrowed.

"To your room. We're packing."

"But we don't leave for three days!"

"And one of those days is the holiday party," Sasuke pointed out.

"Okay, but... that still leaves two days.." Naruto mumbled but finally stood up from the couch.

"Are you bringing a carry on or a suitcase?" Sasuke asked.

"Uhhhh."

Sasuke sighed. Naruto swung open his door, left unlocked. "I'm bringing a suitcase. The airline charges a fee but we're going to be at my house for four weeks." Plus, candles weren't allowed in carry-on bags, and he wanted to give Itachi that for Christmas. So, suitcase.

Naruto squinted at him. "Can I share with you?"

And that was - "No."

"Why not?" Naruto put his hands on his hips.

Sasuke walked past him and sat down on Naruto's bed. "Get your own. Now start packing."

"Ugh, you're the worst boyfriend ever," Naruto complained and began to rummage through his drawers. "I don't even have a suitcase, asshole."

Sasuke frowned. They weren't boyfriends - but would it make a bad impression on his parents if they weren't sharing a suitcase? Was that expected between significant others? Even when packing heavily for an extended stay? Sasuke had no clue. Also, "What do you mean you don't have a suitcase? What did you do when you came to college?"

Naruto paused, arms half covered in shirts thrown over his forearms. "Oh my dad and I drove, so I just used trash bags for my stuff."

"You _drove_ from Konoha?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"Yeah!" The blonde grinned. "It was like a road trip, you know?"

No, Sasuke didn't know. None of the Uchiha's had ever been on a road trip, as far as Sasuke could recall. Why drive when they could fly?

"Get at least ten outfits together." Sasuke instructed him and stood back up. "I'll be back with my suitcase."

"Oh nice!" Naruto grinned over his shoulder at Sasuke.

* * *

"Don't you own any formal wear?" Sasuke asked as he rifled through Naruto's stack of clothing.

"You said ten outfits, not ten formal outfits." Naruto pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You don't need ten formal outfits - but you do need _at least one._ "

"Fine, fine." Naruto went back into his drawers and pulled out a button up shirt. "Is this good?"

Sasuke eyed the shirt - white with blue and pink floral print - and sighed. "You don't have anything else? No tie?" Naruto gave him a stern look. "Not even slacks?"

"The only time I need formal wear is for class presentations and art exhibitions," Naruto pointed out. "And no one cares if I'm wearing chinos instead of slacks as long as I have a button up."

Sasuke sighed. "Hand it over."

Naruto passed him the shirt and he folded it up.

"We'll have to iron this when we get there," Sasuke mused, "But that's not unexpected from traveling."

"You iron your shirts?" Naruto asked in surprise.

Sasuke was deeply disappointed in the amount of surprise behind the question. "When they're wrinkled, yes."

"Huh. How many outfits are you bringing?" Naruto asked in a non sequitur.

"I was going to bring fourteen but I'll reduce it significantly, since some of my clothes are still back in my room at the house and I have to make room for your clothes."

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Thanks."

"If worse comes to worse, you can borrow some of my clothes as well," Sasuke mused. "But it should be fine since we'll have access to laundry at my house."

"If you don't like my button up, I can just wear one of yours," Naruto offered. Which... wasn't a bad idea. Certainly it reduced the chances of whatever Naruto wore clashing with Sasuke's clothing. Sasuke wadded up the ugly shirt and threw it at Naruto, who caught it with a dramatic flailing of limbs as it hit his face and impaired his vision.

"Make a list of essentials that you need to have ready to go and gather together what you can. Friday's the party, and we leave Saturday; so things like your toothbrush and deodorant can be placed in a Ziplock and you can easily throw it in the suitcase after you use them come Saturday morning. Things like socks, underwear, and an extra phone charger are easily packable now."

Unexpectedly Naruto blushed. "My _underwear?_ "

So that was the issue. "Yes," Sasuke drawled, unimpressed by his sudden surge of bashfulness. "Like I said, we will have access to laundry, so you don't need a pair for every single day; however don't under pack either because if you spend every single day washing the same two pairs of underwear, I will kill you."

Naruto laughed, looking more at ease. "Yeah, yeah," He brushed of Sasuke's threat easily and went back to his drawers. "I'll pack a lot of socks and underwear." Naruto dumped an armful into the open suitcase and Sasuke sighed. He glared first at the blonde and then at the pile; then he grabbed a pair of underwear and began folding.

"Are you folding my underwear?" Naruto gaped. Sasuke ignored the question since he was obviously doing exactly that. "Oh God. Why?"

"Folding clothes makes them fit better in the suitcase," Sasuke answered and moved on to a pair of mismatching socks because Sasuke was not taking the time to sort them, no fucking thank you.

There was a beat of silence.

"This is really weird," Naruto said finally.

"You could always do it yourself," Sasuke pointed out.

"Ugh," Naruto scrunched his nose up and flopped down next to Sasuke on his bed. "I don't know how to fold things."

Sasuke sighed. "I noticed."

* * *

"Choji asked me about how I did on the second essay question in the economics final," Naruto regaled to Sasuke as he continued to fold Naruto's clothes into the suitcase and Naruto laid half on the bed with his arms stretched behind his head and half of his body stretched out on the floor, lounging at a weird angle that Sasuke had _told_ him would give him a backache but Naruto wouldn't listen to him.

"I don't know who that is," Sasuke reminded him.

Naruto scrambled and twisted to his side to look at Sasuke, propping his head up on his hand. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope," Sasuke answered monotonously and didn't look up from the pants he was folding.

"Okay, but like." Naruto looked at him in disappointment. "As my boyfriend, you should probably know the names of my friends. It's good practice, you should be practicing."

"My family isn't going to give a fuck who your friends are, let alone if _I_ know who your friends are or not." Sasuke wasn't sure how he felt about Naruto's habit of calling them boyfriends. He never said 'fake boyfriends' or 'pretend boyfriends' - it was always just 'boyfriends.' On one hand, it meant less of a chance that Naruto would slip up in front of Sasuke's family; on the other hand, Sasuke kind of had a mini heart attack every single time he said it. So. Pros and cons.

"Oh, do you think you can't do it?" Naruto asked in a childish attempt at manipulation. It was pathetic. Sasuke was embarrassed for him. "I mean, it must be tooo hard for you to learn everyone's name. I mean, gosh, there's Choji and Shikamaru, there's Hinata - Neji of course, but Hinata told me that he won't be at the party, so that's one less person you have to worry about. And let's see...Kiba and Tenten and geez I dunno I guess this is a lot of names for you to remember, huh? Like Gaara and Sai and - "

"Stop talking." Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.

Naruto brightened, as if he had admitted defeat to the blonde. "So are you gonna practice?"

"No," Sasuke said firmly with a glare.

"You're the worst boyfriend I've ever had," Naruto complained teasingly. Sasuke snorted; it was probably _true._

* * *

"So..." Naruto dragged the word out nervously.

"What did you do?" Sasuke cut in before Naruto could spend too long working up to whatever it was.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto squawked.

"Hm."

"No really!" Naruto assured him, as if Sasuke had argued against it.

"Hm."

"Sasuke," Naruto whined. With a small sigh, Sasuke looked up from his folding. Naruto nervously met his gaze. "I was just wondering... How it's going with finding your brother?"

At that, Sasuke blinked. "Fine."

"Yeah?" Naruto breathed, sounding excited.

"Yeah," He confirmed. "I found him."

Naruto fell off the bed. "Ow, crap, wait - wait, wait, wait! Sasuke, you what?"

Sasuke went back to folding.

"Sasuke, seriously, you _found_ him? And you didn't say anything? Oh my God, let's go meet up with him! We can ambush him!"

"I already met up with him." And had ambushed him.

Naruto shrieked.

"If you don't cut it out, you can fold your own shit," Sasuke threatened.

"Oh my God," Naruto said from his bedroom floor, astounded and seemingly having not heard him. "Oh my God. How'd it go? I can't believe you didn't say anything! Oh my God!"

Sasuke wasn't really ready to explain his encounter with Itachi. Didn't really have the words to explain the emotions he had felt and still was feeling. Wasn't sure if he wanted to explain.

"You'll meet him on Saturday," Sasuke finally said.

" _Oh my God!"_

Sasuke winced at the volume - and then gave a snort. It was such a Naruto reaction.

"You found him?" Naruto repeated in awe. "And he's going to be at your house for Christmas? Oh my God?? Wow!"

Sasuke let Naruto's unbridled joy and incredulous wonder sink over him like a quilt thrown over his shoulders. It made things easier - made his own complex feelings easier - if he could focus on the warmth of Naruto's reaction and let it carry him into an ease he couldn't achieve on his own.

"Oh my God," Naruto continued to repeat in shocked delight. And Sasuke found himself smiling as he listened.

* * *

"Um," Sakura said that night at dinner, and she paused with hand still reaching for a bread stick as she stared. "Sasuke?"

"Uhhhhh, Sasuke?" Naruto also asked, staring as well.

Ino's stare was less of confusion and more of a calculating assessment as she too coolly took in the sight. 

Sasuke didn't let go of Naruto's hand, holding it atop of their table during dinner with forced ease even though it was oddly nerve wrecking to do so. It had been more nerve wrecking to try asking him to hold his hand; Sasuke couldn't get the words past his lips and instead just finally did it without permission. "Practice." Sasuke explained with a shrug.

"Oh!" Naruto immediately lit up in understanding and then his brows lowered once more in confusion. "But how am I supposed to eat with one hand?"

"Manage," Sasuke instructed him without much concern for the how.

"That's easy for you to say!" Naruto pointed out. "You've still got your right hand and I don't!"

"I'm left handed," Sasuke informed him drolly.

"What?" All three of his roommates asked.

He lifted an eyebrow in reply.

"But you take notes with your right hand," Ino said with a frown.

"Right, right! And other stuff - like you chop vegetables with your right hand!" Naruto added.

Sasuke sighed. "I am predominantly left handed, but I do utilize my right hand during some tasks. Not a lot but some. And yes those tasks include writing and using a knife."

"You're seriously left handed?" Sakura double checked.

"Wait, wait, wait," Naruto frowned. "If I'm right handed and you're left handed, why are we using our dominant hands to hold hands instead of using them to eat with?"

Sasuke tilted his head as he considered that logical point. "It was good that we practiced. When we're at my house, make sure to stay on my right side for maximum comfort in regards to this should we need to hold hands."

Naruto sputtered. "You really want me to _keep track_ of where I stand beside you?"

"And sit, yes." He nodded.

"Wait," Sakura waved her hands. "What do you mean when Naruto goes home with you?"

"Oh, I'm going to his place for Christmas break," Naruto answered.

"Huh?" She gaped.

"As his pretend boyfriend," Ino added knowingly, like she had been in on it instead of having pieced everything together from what she knew and what she could guess despite not having been explicitly told.

Sakura finally put her hand down from the mid-motion it had been frozen in ever since Sasuke had taken Naruto's hand. "What?! Wait. How do _you_ know that?!"

Ino smiled coyly and picked up a bread stick. "I know everything."

"No you don't," Naruto scoffed.

"Yes I do." Ino replied with a smirk.

"Stop teasing my boyfriend," Sasuke told her.

Naruto's head whipped around to look at Sasuke, his eyes wide. And then he remembered and laughed. "Oh right I guess I am, huh!" The amount of surprise when Sasuke had called them boyfriends was somewhat strange since _Naruto_ called them boyfriends all the time without thinking about it.

"Yeah," Sasuke said with a nod, "We really did need the practice. Good call, Naruto."

Naruto beamed. And then his smile froze a bit and he looked pointedly at their hands still intertwined together. "Can I have my hand back now?"

Sasuke released him.

"So what's your opinion on pet names?" Naruto asked as he took a bite of pasta.

"I've never had a pet to name," Sasuke answered. Ino snorted so hard that Sasuke thought marinara was about to shoot out of her nose as she laughed.

"Oh my God, you two dating is one of the greatest things to have happened and I can't _believe_ I'm gonna miss it because you guys won't be here."

"We're not actually dating," Sasuke corrected her and then took a bite of his pasta.

Ino's smile was amused and knowing. "Right. My bad."

"Pet names," Naruto clarified, continuing their conversation, "Like cutesy nicknames."

"Significant others often use them," Sakura informed him.

Sasuke frowned. "I suppose it depends." He took another bite.

"No 'Sasuke-poo' then?" Sakura snickered and finally proceeded to pick up the bread stick she had been going for earlier.

"I wouldn't call him _that!"_ Naruto protested.

"What _would_ you call him?" Ino asked with an extremely curious look. Sasuke turned to look at him as well as he chewed on more pasta.

"Oh, I dunno." Naruto paused to think about it. "Something... nice. You know? Like 'dear' and 'sweetheart' ad stuff."

Sakura smiled at his answer but Ino appeared unimpressed. "You call Gaara and Hinata those."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and set down his fork. "Are you dating Gaara and Hinata?" He asked, unable to fathom Naruto being able to keep a secret from them all, let alone one of that magnitude.

"No!" Naruto looked to them all imploringly. "They're my friends and I just love them a lot, okay?"

"We're your friends and you don't call us 'dear' and 'sweetheart'," Sakura pointed out. Which, Sasuke realized, was a very true point.

Naruto waved a hand dismissively. "You guys don't - you guys aren't the 'dear' and 'sweetheart' _type_ , you know?" No, Sasuke didn't know. "If I thought you guys would let me get away with it, I'd be happy to call you guys that!"

Ino and Sakura shared a look. "Okay, that's fair," Ino shrugged and took a bite of pasta.

* * *

Sasuke caught Naruto by the arm before he left the kitchen after he threw away his take out container and put his fork in the dishwasher. Naruto stayed, giving Sasuke an inquisitive look, as Ino and Sakura proceeded to the living room without them. "I wouldn't mind," Sasuke said quietly, all too aware of the little distance between them and their roommates and trying to not be overheard to a discernible extent.

"Wouldn't... mind?"

"If you called me 'dear' or 'sweetheart.'"

"Because we're boyfriends?" Naruto asked even as he nodded as if that made a lot of sense to him.

"Because we're friends," Sasuke corrected.

Naruto's blue eyes widened. " _Oh_."

His smile blossomed like a flower shimmering under moonlight, natural and glowing and ever so brilliant amidst the dark horizon and pale moon. Like dew droplets resting on a soft petal in the early hours just after twilight, untouched and undisturbed by the rest of the world still soundly sleeping. Sasuke had only seen Naruto as having a sun motif - his brightness and his energy that could span across the darkness of space to warm the Earth. But now in this calm moment, Sasuke thought that maybe Naruto was just similar to anything that radiated light- the moon and stars included, as well as their reflection on every dew drop that gleamed on a flower.

* * *

Sasuke slept most of Thursday away, sleeping in for _hours_. He had no place to go. Everything he needed to do was done.

He just - laid in his bed and slept.

Sasuke took the time to unwind and be by himself. To just sleep as much as he wanted to. And when he was awake, he still kept to himself and only emerged to the kitchen for food and water, not deigning to interact with anyone at all. His roommates asked him the occasional question but he just grunted in response and went back to his room.

And he was alone, in the peace and comfort of solitude. Relaxing in the best way possible, tension unfurling from him as he curled up underneath his duvet cover. It was glorious.

* * *

On Friday night, there was a knock on the door.

"Ah, Hinata, please come in," Sasuke greeted. Naruto crashed into a wall.

"You practiced!" Naruto gaped and actually pointed his finger at Sasuke as he beheld the sight. And then he rubbed at his elbow, delayed, to soothe the bruise that would soon be forming from his collision.

"Am I the first one here?" Hinata asked, alarmed. "Am I too early?"

"Nah, don't worry about it!" Naruto smiled, recovering from his shock of Sasuke knowing someone's name and slinging an arm over her shoulder.

"Hinata!" Sakura beamed. "Merry Christmas!"

"To - to you as well!" Hinata nodded, smile small but sincere.

"You can just put your gift down on the coffee table," Sakura directed. "We're gonna stack everything there basically."

Hinata hesitated. "It's, um, fragile."

"Ooh, what is it?" Naruto asked, peering at it with curiosity.

Sakura smacked the back of his head.

"Ow, hey!"

"Secret Santas are meant to be secret! You're just going to have to wait!" She scolded.

"It might not even be for me!" Naruto protested and removed his arm from Hinata's shoulder to rub at the back of his head, pouting all the while.

There came a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Naruto exclaimed in excitement.

Sasuke beat him to it.

"Tenten," Sasuke greeted politely. "Welcome, please come in."

"Don't mind if I do!" Tenten smiled.

"Hey!" Sakura greeted and proceeded to direct her and Hinata to the snacks in the kitchen until Ino and Shino arrived with the pizzas.

Naruto groaned. "Are you going to - is this a thing? Are you going to prove that you know everyone's names because I'm sorry, Sasuke. I was wrong and you _do_ know their names, okay, just let me get the door the next time. Or some time. At least a couple times!"

It was gratifying to hear Naruto admit defeat and to forfeit to Sasuke's hard-earned victory. He had studied endlessly, scrolling through Facebook for hours to encapsulate the unknown names and faces to his memory.

Sasuke stepped aside. Naruto whooped and crowded the door, waiting for more people to arrive.

A knock came not too long after.

"Gaara!" Naruto shouted, delighted, and threw both arms around the redhead at their door.

And, yeah, Sasuke was glad that he had allowed Naruto to take over greeting the guest because it was _fucking_ Gaara.

"Naruto," Gaara responded, delayed. And tentatively he wrapped his arms around Naruto in return. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Fucking Gaara. At least it wasn't Sai yet or, worse, goddamn Rock Lee.

* * *

"Hey, where the fuck are we all supposed to sit?" Kiba, the last of them to have arrived, asked.

"Yeah, most of us are going to have to sit on the floor." Naruto explained with a sheepish smile, as if it was his sole responsibility for there only being two couches and four kitchen chairs dragged over into the living room.

Ino lazily beckoned a hand from where she laid sprawled on the couch. "Dibs on cuddling with my fiance."

"Okay, fine," Kiba agreed and turned to the other couch. Which was already occupied by Shikamaru and Choji, which Sasuke was pretty pissed about because it wasn't their dorm so they shouldn't get to have the couch. "What?" Kiba whined upon realizing it was taken. "Seriously?" Sakura joined Ino on the couch, further cementing Sasuke's point.

But Naruto, unlike Sasuke, wasn't even on a chair. He sat down merrily on the floor, back resting against the cushion of Ino and Sakura's sofa.

"Come on, you guys, squish in!" Naruto directed and patted the tile as if the cold hard ground would entice anybody to join him.

"Two broooos," Sai sang with his tone as mild as ever and the end result of that was almost more funny than the original version, "Sitting five feet apart 'cause they're not gay."

"Well you _are_ gay," Naruto said in challenge. "So scooch your chair closer. And everyone else, pile in!"

"Ugh," Kiba said but took a seat between where Tenten and Rock Lee had claimed the other two kitchen chairs.

Sometimes it was entertaining to remember how some of the quietest people preferred Naruto's presence. Hinata and Gaara both situated themselves in either sides of Naruto, and Sasuke eyed them in silent amusement. Naruto was loud and often lacked a filter, and it didn't seem like it would have meshed well with those two - some of the quietest, more private people at the party. And yet, they easily gravitated towards Naruto and accepted his casual touch, leaned into his easy warmth and his delight. It was somewhat funny to witness - but, at the same time, as Sasuke recalled the ease in which Naruto had inserted himself into his own life, totally understandable.

* * *

"How we gonna do this thing?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, Naruto's right," Rock Lee agreed. "What decides who gets to go first?"

Maneuvering around where Sakura was cuddled beside her to stand up, Ino cleared her throat. "Everyone, listen up!" When she decided that everyone's attention was suitably focused on her, she continued. "I'll kick things off. I'll give _my_ Secret Santa gift, and then _that_ person will give their Secret Santa gift - and so on and so forth. That way, everyone's in order and everyone gets to see what people get. Good?" When no complaint came, she grinned. "Good. Like I said, I'll go first." She grabbed her present from the coffee table and walked it over. "Here you go!" She said cheerfully as she handed the present to Sai. "Merry Christmas!"

"Any guesses?" Choji asked and Sai shrugged.

Carefully, he began to open the tasteful silver wrapping paper; it was slow going as he was diligent about not ripping the paper and keeping it in one piece. Then when he finally removed the wrapping from the box, he began to fold it up, careful to align where creases already laid and not create new ones.

"Oh, come on already," Kiba muttered and privately Sasuke agreed with the sentiment.

Finally, Sai set the folded paper aside and took the box in his hands. He opened the cardboard and lifted the tissue paper within. His eyebrows rose slightly, which was somewhat intriguing since he tended not to make much expression at all.

Sai reached in the box and lifted his present for all to see.

Kiba burst out laughing. Naruto choked. Sasuke stared and wondered why the hell Ino had gone over the set fifteen dollar budget for _that_. Snickers began to erupt from around the room.

"Ugh," Gaara said quietly, and Sasuke was even agreeing with fucking _Gaara_ tonight because it looked like Ino had gotten Sai some sort of sex thing - what the fuck?

"How thoughtful," Sai monotonously said and held the strap on and harness higher up to inspect it with mild interest while Naruto gagged theatrically in disgust and pretended to hurl; Naruto acted allergic to anything involving sex and was never afraid to be overtly obnoxious about voicing his displeasure while everyone else was overtly obnoxious in voicing their juvenile amusement over anything remotely relating to sex. "How did you know?"

Ino flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. "You wear crop tops nearly every day. That is serious strap on energy."

"Crop tops?" Hinata whispered to Naruto, looking beyond confused. Naruto paused in his gagging and shrugged.

"Don't you _already_ have a dick?" Kiba blurted out.

"Yes, and now I have two." Sai answered blandly. He was still holding the strap on in mid air. The hell?

"Wait," Tenten realized. "Ino _you_ wear crop tops nearly every day!" 

Ino smirked. "I said what I said."

One present into Secret Santa and Sasuke was already beyond fucking done with the whole thing, amazing.

Tenten lifted her eyebrows. "Okay, but don't you _also_ already have a dick?"

"Yes," Sai sighed, as if unable to bear the stupidity of others and suffering tragically. "And now she has two." 

Ino cackled while Sakura covered her face in both hands at her fiance's next words. "I have a lot more than two!"

"Ugh," Naruto scrunched his nose up. "Why are you guys like this? It's _Christmas_ , we should not be talking about gross stuff."

"I actually celebrate Hanukkah," Shino said, perched on the floor seated beside Kiba. Sasuke had completely forgotten he was there.

"Also," Gaara murmured. "It's not actually quite Christmas yet."

Naruto rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, huffing unhappily. "Okay, yeah, but it's the holiday party. Everyone should behave!"

Sasuke eyed him in amusement, thinking it ironic that Naruto of all people was chastising everyone for not behaving.

Sai looked at Naruto and then looked back to the gift he held in his hands. "Thank you, Ino," He said in the most ridiculously serious tone for someone holding a sex toy, and then he deliberately put everything back in the box whence it came. He even tucked in the tissue paper dutifully so as to completely obscure it from view. Naruto's frown eased, and Sai nodded ever so slightly in satisfaction. "I believe it is my turn?" He asked and set aside the box down by his feet to pick up the gift he had brought.

"Who'd you get?" Naruto asked in excitement; Sasuke wasn't sure if he was more excited about the prospect of more presents or the prospect of finally moving on from talking about sex.

"Rock Lee, this is for you." Sai said and stood to pass it over to the recipient.

Rock Lee's eyes widened, as if surprised to be receiving a gift at a fucking gift exchange party. "Thank you!"

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" Kiba chanted.

At least he tore through the wrapping and box quickly, speeding up this whole thing.

"It's, uh, tweezers?" Rock Lee held them up.

Everyone stared.

"For your bushy brows," Sai said sagely.

"Sai!" Sakura snapped. "That's so rude!"

"No?" Sai eyed her more in mild distaste than in mild confusion. "It's helpful." At that, Naruto attempted to smother a snort against Gaara's sweater clad shoulder and Sasuke wasn't the only one to look at the blonde as he failed to contain his amusement.

"Oh!" Rock Lee exclaimed happily. "There's also a mirror in here!"

"It lights up," Sai informed him.

"Thank you!" Rock Lee said earnestly and seemingly ignored the looks everyone gave him in response to his easy acceptance of such a backhanded gift."As for me, I was most fortunate and I had Sakura for the Secret Santa!"

"Oh!" Sakura's irritation melted away and she focused on Lee.

He stood and grabbed a long, skinny box from the bottom of the presents pile and handed it to her.

"Oh!" Sakura's face lit up in surprise. "It's a pull-up bar!"

"You can install it in a doorway!" Rock Lee commented in an attempt to be helpful. "I have mine installed in my bathroom. Even Neji uses it!"

"Hey, where is Neji?" Tenten asked Hinata.

Hinata flushed as everyone's attention turned to her. "He's, um, he's already g-gone home!"

"Laaaame," Kiba drawled.

"Thank you, Lee," Sakura smiled. 

"Sakura, who'd you have?" Tenten asked.

"I'll be right back!" Sakura stood and dashed into the kitchen, nearly kicking Sai's head in her haste.

Shikamaru snorted. Sai turned to stare at him. ""I won't hesitate, bitch." And Sasuke had a feeling that the Vine quoting was a relatively new development for him because Sasuke didn't remember him doing this last time - he'd definitely remember the hilarity of popular Vine quotes uttered in monotone - and because it was going to be something that got real old real quick if Sai kept it up the whole night.

"Here!" She grinned and presented the gift to Gaara. "Merry Christmas!"

"It's not yet Christmas," He repeated. "...But thank you."

Naruto nudged his side. "Open it, come on, Gaara!"

Gaara peeled away the wrapping paper with one swift, vicious maneuver. He held the candle with careful, pale fingers. "Thank you." Naruto snatched it from his grip, and Gaara let him.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed and unscrewed the lid to open it. "Is this the same candle you got me?" He gave a sniff and then definitively added, "It _is_ the same candle you gave me!"

Sasuke's mouth curled upwards as he wondered at Naruto's reaction should he find out that she had also given himself the same lemon candle.

"That's _because I made it_ , Naruto," Sakura stressed through gritted teeth. The blonde huffed and then offered the candle back to Gaara, who calmly reclaimed it.

Without any fanfare, Gaara leaned forward and plucked a gift bag from the coffee table without any effort and then reached across Naruto to pass it along to Hinata.

"Oh!" She said and accepted it with a shy smile. She untied the red ribbon holding the two handles together in a bow and opened the gift bag and pulled out a small succulent in a quaintly decorated pot. "Oh how cute!" She held it close to her chest, as if hugging it, and smiled wider. "Thank you so much!"

Gaara said nothing, only inclined his head.

Naruto peered curiously at the gift with a frown. "That _is_ really cute - hey, hey, Gaara text me where you got that. I want to buy one."

Gaara shook his head. "I'll give you one."

Naruto's entire face lit up. "Really? Hey thanks!" He quickly hugged Gaara, smushing the redhead's arm between them awkwardly; straight faced, Gaara accepted the gentle assault with as much dignity as someone in that position possibly could. It was, Sasuke had to admit begrudgingly to himself, somewhat admirable.

"Really?" Sai asked, as if duty bound to quote pop culture, Vines, and memes all the while acting as if he didn't even enjoy doing so even one bit but was still obligated to do so for whatever bizarre reason. "Right in front of my salad?"

Naruto stuck his tongue out in reply.

Hinata then finally placed the potted plant down on the floor and carefully rose. "One second!" She promised, rushed to the kitchen, and returned with her Secret Santa gift that had been kept in the kitchen instead of on the coffee table. "For you, Choji!" She approached the sofa, and Choji took the gift.

"Hmm, it's heavier than I would have guessed," He said and contemplatively eyed the small box wrapped in snowflake printed paper. He opened the box with gusto and then blinked at it in surprise. "Is this an ashtray?" He asked and held up a shallow white dish shaped like a butterfly.

"No!" Hinata quickly shook her head. "It's a jewelry dish!"

"Oh!" Choji looked at it with new eyes and then smiled. "That's pretty cool then! Hey, Shika, look, this is perfect. We have someplace to put our earrings now, huh?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes; Sasuke privately agreed with the motion. "It's your gift."

"Yeah but we can share," Choji pointed out reasonably. "Thank you, Hinata."

"You're - you're welcome!"

Choji settled the ceramic tray carefully against the couch cushion and stood up; Shikamaru frowned slightly as their quaint habitat of two was disturbed. He lifted a gift wrapped in red paper with candy canes on it and then leaned down to hand it to Kiba. Choji resumed sitting on the couch and only then did Shikamaru's subtle unease fade away. Shikamaru, for all his pretenses at aloofness, cared deeply about his best friend - it may have been subtle in the cues he showed but to Sasuke it seemed overtly apparent.

"Yesssss!" Kiba exclaimed dramatically. "Finally!" He tore the paper off and almost dropped the gift. "Oh!" Kiba laughed and held up the dog-themed coffee mug. "Very cool!" Without further ado, he grabbed a gift bag from the coffee table with his free hand and threw it; it smacked against Naruto's chest.

"Hey, what the hell?" Naruto asked as he fumbled with the gift bag; Sai said "yeet" at the same exact time.

"Merry Christmas!" Kina exclaimed, grinning.

"Kiba didn't even say thank you," Sasuke heard Shikamaru complain to Choji.

"Oh wow!" Naruto exclaimed and clutched the gift bag with both hands tightly, looking stupidly surprised to have received a gift at a Secret Santa gift exchange party. "Thanks!" He rummaged into the bag and withdrew the present with a cry of triumph, before he ha even registered what exactly it was that he was holding. "A microphone!"

"It's a karaoke microphone!" Kiba elaborated with a grin nearly as wide as Naruto's and stood up to be closer, gesturing to the microphone uselessly from behind Naruto as he leaned over Hinata to peer down at him.

"Oh neat!" Naruto exclaimed and tore away the cardboard encompassing it, freeing it from the package. "We're soooaaarin', we're flyyyyin'!" Naruto sang into the microphone.

"That's not even on," Shikamaru pointed out.

"There's not a star in heaven that weee can't reeaach!" Kiba sang from well above Naruto, nowhere near the microphone - which wasn't even on and didn't even have batteries yet - as he stood leaning over Hinata as much as he could balance without falling on her to angle closer to the blonde.

"Idiots," Sasuke scoffed.

"Something sooomething!" Naruto sang. "We're breakin' free! We're breakin' free!"

"You know the world can seeee us," Ino continued casually, sitting up from snuggling Sakura and throwing her arms over the back of the couch and lounging on it like she was a queen. Naruto laughed loudly in delight. "In a way that's different than who we are."

"Creating space betweeeen us," Tenten picked up the song. "Until we're two separate hearts."

"Yes!" Naruto laughed and inhaled deeply to belt out into the microphone, "We're! Soooooaaaaring!"

"We're! Flyyyying!" Sasuke watched as several people joined in, Naruto's joy infectious, wordlessly compelling them to participate in his jubilee. "There's not a star in heeaaven that we can't reach!"

"If we're trying," Tenten harmonized.

"Then we're breaking free," Ino sang as her fiance nestled into her shoulder, watching her with fond but baffled amusement.

"Oh, we're breaking free!" Rock Lee crowed.

"You know the world - " Hinata cleared her throat. " - can see us." Naruto's grin widened and as he leaned into her side to share the microphone with her that didn't even work because it had no fucking batteries in it, and her face flushed.

"In a way," Almost everyone was singing, Sasuke noticed idly. Only himself, Shikamaru, Sakura, Sai, and Gaara were choosing to abstain. "That's diiiifferent from whooo we are! Creating spaaaace betweeen us - "

"Okay, this cannot be the whole song," Shikamaru interrupted loudly. "It doesn't just keep repeatedly the same lines."

"Um, basically it does, yeah," Ino countered.

Shikamaru stared at her. "I can guarantee you - it doesn't."

"How would _you_ know?" Kiba rolled his eyes.

"How do all of you know the words to this?" Sakura questioned.

"Whaaaat?" Naruto gaped. "It's _High School Musical._ "

"Which is, like, thirty years old." Sakura countered.

"You take that back!" Naruto yelled, twisting around awkwardly to glare at the couch behind him.

Rock Lee nodded in agreement. "It's a classic!"

"Honestly? I prefer _Teen Beach Movie,_ " She shrugged. Several people gasped in outrage, and Sasuke regretted ever agreeing to participate because this was taking forever and a debate over Disney movies was not in the itinerary for the holiday party. Knowing his roommates, they would only prolong it.

"Naruto," Sasuke said sharply, trying to bypass the lengthy argument about to occur. "Who do you have for Secret Santa?"

Naruto turned forwards once more, met Sasuke's gaze, and then looked to the couch across from him in delight. "Shikamaru!" He called out gleefully.

Shikamaru's face was carefully blank as he held himself deliberately still akin to an insect trying to camouflage with its surroundings at sight of a potential threat.

Naruto unwound himself from where he was snuggling Gaara and Hinata and surged to his feet. He grabbed one of the two remaining gifts and strode over to the couch, weaving unsteadily between the people on the floor. "Here you go!" Naruto thrust the present at him and grinned. "Merry Christmas!"

For a moment, Shikamaru stared. Then he breathed in deeply and accepted the gift. "Thank you," He said graciously but still looked extremely wary, which Sasuke thought was hilarious. Naruto was Naruto, sure, but what did he think Naruto possibly could have gotten him that warranted such a reaction?

"You haven't even opened it!" Naruto pointed out, even though only minutes ago he had done the same thing when opening Kiba's gift.

Shikamaru shrugged as he carefully hefted the present side to side, as if trying to determine what it what by its weight and how it shifted. "I can still be grateful," He replied easily. He met Naruto's exasperated look calmly and then smiled. Any annoyance Naruto may have felt visibly melted away. Shikamaru opened the present in a more tame fashion than others had but not nearly even half as slow as Sai had. His eyebrow quirked upwards. "A face mask and a candle?"

"Naruto, so help me if that was my candle I made for you - " Sakura began angrily but Shikamaru shook his head and interrupted her.

"It's clearly not homemade." He presented the candle towards her.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I didn't know you were giving everybody candles, Sakura. I got mine for Shikamaru way before you gave me yours."

"Why a face mask?" Shikamaru asked as he began to scrutinize the ingredients listed on the back with a pensive look.

"Do you not like it?" Naruto's face fell entirely, like daylight to night shifting suddenly without a sunset to transition between, and his shoulders slumped.

"I didn't say that," Shikamaru said. Rather evasively, in Sasuke's opinion. "I was just curious."

"Well," Naruto shrugged. "You always seem so stressed out, you know?"

"Shikamaru?" Ino asked in disbelief. "Stressed out? Shikamaru doesn't stress out about anything; he's so carefree that it'd be impossible for him to stress out."

"I don't know if 'carefree' is quite the word for it," Choji mused.

Naruto waved a hand towards Ino. "He is! And so I thought it'd be nice for you to, like, destress. Unwind with a candle, a face mask, and some self care."

Shikamaru's lips quirked. "Well, that's awfully considerate of you, Naruto. Quite more thought behind it than I had assumed."

Naruto rolled his eyes and made to go and sit back down again. But once again his face lit up like the daytime sun.

"So who'd you get?" Choji asked his best friend.

In lieu of replying, Shikamaru pulled out a small flat rectangle from his pocket and tossed it towards Sasuke, who caught it deftly.

It was a very light present and its shape led Sasuke to guess that it was a gift card.

Sasuke unwrapped the present - wrapped in the same red candy cane paper as Choji's gift to Kiba had been - and snorted in amusement.

"Thanks," He said to Shikamaru and pocketed the fifteen dollars in cash.

"That's the worst gift ever!" Ino protested.

"It's not very much in the spirit of gifting, is it?" Rock Lee mused.

"I didn't know we were allowed to give cash," Tenten mused.

"Yeah, I thought we were supposed to actually _buy_ something!" Naruto chimed in, just as Sai muttered, "Cash you outside, how 'bout dah?"

"Next year," Sakura announced with a frown, "There should be a no cash rule."

Shikamaru waved a lazy hand, unconcerned. "Fine, fine. Whatever. It was more convenient though."

"I don't mind," Sasuke assured him. The cash was much more useful than a karaoke microphone or a potted plant.

Shikamaru eyed him in amusement. "Good." He sounded like he didn't really care either way had Sasuke not liked it but since he did, he'd easily accept it as a result. Whatever, Sasuke didn't care either.

"You guys are missing the point of Secret Santa." Ino sighed. "It's a _gift_ exchange."

"Well, I mean..." Naruto frowned. "It is _a_ gift, technically."

Ino sighed again. "Whatever. Sasuke, you're up."

"Wait, there's only one gift left!" Shino pointed out. And, damn, couldn't he have sat somewhere else because Sasuke had again forgotten he was there.

"Hey, you're right!" Ino frowned. "Okay, let's count who's missing a gift and - "

Sasuke pulled out his gift from his pocket, much like Shikamaru had, and handed it to Tenten without having to stand.

"Oh, you have _got_ to be shitting me," Ino complained as she took in the sight of a small flat rectangular shaped miniature envelope. "You too?!"

Tenten opened the miniature envelope. "A Starbucks gift card!" She revealed happily.

"Well, at least Sasuke bought her something and didn't give cash," Sakura mused but still looked a bit put out.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "There's no one in this room who doesn't like cold hard cash, stop trying to fool yourselves."

"Yeah but not for Christmas!"

"Okay but, guys," Rock Lee interrupted. "There's still only one gift left."

Everyone paused. Then all eyes proceeded to look at the sole gift sitting on the coffee table.

"Okay who _hasn't_ received a gift?" Naruto asked.

"Well, that one's from me," Tenten cut in. "And it's for Ino."

"Yeah, I still need a gift." She confirmed with a nod. "Has everyone else received a gift? Okay if we just count - "

It was because twice Sasuke had forgotten he was there so this third time he easily saw Shino raise a hand.

"Who had Shino?" Sasuke asked over the din.

Surprised, everyone turned to him and then to Shino. Who looked extremely embarrassed.

"Um," Shino said and kept his hand raised. "That would be me."

There was a beat of silence before the room took that in.

"You have _got_ to be shitting me!" Ino smacked her palm against her forehead.

"Okay, _next_ year!" Sakura glared at everyone in the room as though everyone was complicit in this. "If you get your own name, you have to draw again!"

"There wasn't any other name!" Shino protested. "I was the last one in the hat!"

"Oh my God, Shino, why didn't you say something?" Kiba asked.

Shino shrugged. "You're not supposed to say who you got."

"Okay, right, that's fair," Naruto nodded. "But why didn't you buy a gift?"

Shino looked at him in surprise. "It seemed redundant to buy myself a Secret gift. Also, somewhat impossible, you know?"

Ino sighed again.

"Sorry?" Shino offered, looking a bit confused still.

"Don't be sorry," Hinata assured him.

Gaara nodded. "There's no apology needed; you have done nothing wrong." Sasuke was starting to wonder if Gaara's proclivity to stabbing people only involved himself because Gaara seemed to get along with everyone when he wasn't outright ignoring them. Maybe Ino was right: maybe Gaara really was that overprotective of Naruto and had considered Sasuke's hyperbole an actual threat and had responded in turn.

"Well," Naruto frowned. "Sakura do you have any extra candles?"

Sakura frowned. "Uh, yeah, I guess? Why?"

Naruto grinned. "Hey, Shino, do you like candles?"

"You can't just offer to give away other peoples' candles!" Sakura protested, aghast, as she quickly realized where Naruto was leading to.

"Aww but Sakura! He didn't get anything from his Secret Santa! He got ripped off!"

"That's his own fault!" She argued. "He was his own Secret Santa! He ripped _himself_ off!"

"Sakuraaaa," Naruto whined.

"Oh my God," She snapped but stood up from Ino's embrace and the couch to go get a candle for Shino.

Naruto gave a thumbs up in Shino's direction and leaned back against the couch more firmly, snugging closer to Gaara in the process. "I love Christmas."

Gaara looked at him from the corner of his eye and then looked back to his phone. "It's not actually Christmas yet," He corrected and, for the first time that Sasuke had ever heard him, he sounded gentle - like he wasn't even capable of stabbing someone with a fucking fork.

"Yeah," Ino agreed and leaned her arm down to ruffle Naruto's hair. "I love Christmas too."

"And Hanukkah," Hinata chimed in softly with a small smile aimed towards Shino.

"The holidays are indeed nice," Sai agreed.

And Sasuke's lips twisted up in his own silent, private amusement because he was even agreeing with Sai tonight. So, yeah, Sasuke thought, the holidays _were_ nice. The thought lingered in the back of his mind as the party carried on cheerfully well after the gifts had been exchanged, hours passing as easily as the friends around him laughed and joked and smiled. And sometimes Sasuke found himself smiling too, found himself submerged in the warmth of the room and finding that, yeah, it wasn't so bad after all. It was nice.

* * *

Naruto groaned. Sasuke again shook him and this time Naruto lazily lifted a hand to swat at it.

"I'm up, Sakura, I'm up," Naruto grumbled without opening his eyes.

"Does Sakura normally wake you up?" Sasuke asked curiously. Neither Sakura or Naruto had ever mentioned that and he couldn't really envision it, since Sakura and Naruto tended to be on different schedules due to her night shifts.

Naruto's eyes shot open as he sat up ramrod straight. "Holy shit, Sasuke, what are you doing in my room?" He asked and yanked his comforter to his chest, clutching it tightly as if he was indecent even though he was wearing a pajama top and matching pajama pants.

"Our flight is today," Sasuke reminded him. The blonde blinked and then squinted.

"What time is it?"

"Just get dressed." Sasuke turned to leave. He pretended that he didn't see or hear Naruto groan again and flop down to the bed once more, clearing ignoring Sasuke. Whatever, they had time; this was exactly why Sasuke had woken him up early.

* * *

"I hate you," Naruto said as he trudged tiredly into the kitchen fully dressed and then yawned widely as if to further demonstrate why. Sasuke didn't respond. Naruto made his way to stand in front of the coffee maker and paused to yawn again. "I could have slept in way more, you know." Sasuke snorted from the kitchen table and continued eating his breakfast. Naruto filled the coffee maker with water and popped in a K-cup. He yawned for a third time as he pressed the button to start brewing. The two of them waited in silence as the coffee noisily prepared the coffee.

"We're meeting my brother at a cafe," Sasuke said when it was done and Naruto began to pour sugar - literally pour, holy crap that was a lot - and creamer into his mug and stir. "You can get another cup of coffee there if you want before we Uber to the airport."

Naruto squinted. "Why not just meet here?"

When Sasuke had offered to share the lift, Itachi had asked where to meet him. Sasuke had naturally said the cafe because that's where Sasuke and Itachi met up and that was immediately where his brain went to when in conjunction of 'Sasuke _and_ Itachi.' Meeting up on campus might have been a better idea but it was too fucking late now.

"There's coffee and food at the cafe," Sasuke raised his eyebrows, as if his plan made total sense and Naruto's suggestion was inferior.

"There's coffee and food here," Naruto grumbled but then was silent as he drank his coffee. And he wasn't wrong.

"I'll buy you a cup of coffee," Sasuke offered, and Naruto paused, his face lighting up.

"What a sweet boyfriend!" He grinned and looked much more agreeable about the situation.

Sasuke stabbed a piece of tofu scramble more harshly than necessary and it crumbled pathetically underneath the fork prongs. Sasuke sighed. As if the caffeine was already taking effect upon him, Naruto began to chatter the more he woke up, his words somewhat nonsensical as he talked in rambling half sentences and cut off thoughts as he paused to drink from his mug about what Sasuke thought was speculation on what his brother would be like in comparison to Sasuke. Sasuke sighed again and hoped this wasn't an omen of what the entire trip was going to be like.

* * *

When they arrived, Itachi was waiting for them outside of the cafe's doors, a sole duffel bag in his grip. It made Sasuke somewhat conscious of the suitcase he was dragging along. But it was weird - Itachi had always been the type to prepare, so it would go to stand as reason to assume he would have been more packed, like Sasuke and Naruto were. Yet that wasn't the case, and made him feel strangely wrong-footed just when he had started to feel like he was beginning to get to know Itachi again.

"Sasuke," Itachi greeted somberly when they approached. He turned an assessing gaze to Naruto. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard such good things about you."

Naruto blinked. "Um. Nice to meet you too! I'm Naruto - Sasuke's boyfriend!" He greeted enthusiastically even though he shot a quick, confused look towards Sasuke. "I literally didn't know you existed until recently, so!" Naruto rubbed his neck awkwardly, his grin bashful and giving off 'ah shucks' vibes.

Itachi nodded as if that was to be expected, and Sasuke felt embarrassment creep over him. "I'm Itachi."

"Ohhhh," Naruto nodded. "Yeah, Sasuke never really said. You know how he is."

"The Uber's due in ten minutes," Sasuke injected before the two of them could start to bond over how ineffectively Sasuke communicated with them. "We have time for coffee and lemon cake if you two want."

"You like lemon cake?" Naruto asked him, taken aback. "I thought you don't like desserts? Like, at all?"

"Well." Sasuke was extremely aware of his brother's curious gaze. "I do sometimes indulge in dessert."

Naruto grinned. "You _are_ human after all! I knew that no one could just not eat dessert, like, ever."

"I'll stand in line," Itachi offered. And he looked amused. Which was embarrassing but much better than him looking suspicious that Sasuke didn't really like lemon cake. He had only been eating it with Itachi in an attempt to feel closer to him, so he'd settle for embarrassment but he didn't have to like it.

"Oh, Sasuke and I will grab a table!" Naruto offered and grabbed the door to hold open. "Order me a mocha okay? Sasuke, babe, give him some money, you _said_ you'd buy me coffee."

In theory, the meeting of Naruto and Itachi was a thing that was going to happen. Sasuke knew that. But in that moment, as Itachi smiled and Naruto called him babe and grabbed his elbow and jostled him as if he could shake money loose from Sasuke's pockets, it was... a lot. A lot more real than knowing it was going to happen. Because it was actually happening.

Sasuke fished out a twenty from his wallet and handed it over to Itachi. "Get whatever you want," He offered to Itachi as Naruto still yanked on his elbow, this time trying to lead him to a table while his other hand still held the door for them.

"That's very generous, thank you, but it's not necessary." Itachi said quietly, as if a slice of lemon cake was going to send Sasuke into debt, and walked past Naruto.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just take it." He turned his attention for his brother to his friend. "Naruto." The blonde stopped yanking quite so hard. "My brother has a preferred table."

"Oh nice!" Naruto nodded and quit tugging at Sasuke completely but still held on to his elbow. "Let's go!"

They walked in and left Itachi in line as Sasuke guided them over to Itachi's favorite table that only had two chairs. Naruto made a considering noise and then stole a chair from a nearby table with a quick, "Hey do you mind? Thanks!" that caused the businessman sitting there to look up from his laptop but then shortly disregard them.

"Dude," Naruto hissed to Sasuke, leaning over the table as soon as they sat down. "Your brother looks nothing like you, it's so weird."

Sasuke's eyebrows rose. "What. That's not true." It wasn't. They looked very similar; they always had.

Naruto gave him a strange look. "You're all like 'wah, I listen to My Chemical Romance and paint my nails black because it matches my soul' - and he's all, like, indie bands, hipster photography yoga, and organic veganism."

" _I'm_ vegan," Sasuke pointed out, somewhat affronted even though the description of Itachi was true.

"Yeah," Naruto rolled his eyes. "But he _looks_ vegan. His hair is in a _bun_ , Sasuke. It's an aesthetic and a whole ass yoga vibe he's giving off."

Sasuke hated how right he was. If he was this accurate in his Itachi description, it only made it worse that his Sasuke description was so off.

* * *

"Oh wow!" Naruto breathed. He tried to lean closer to the airplane window without actually getting up or undoing his seat belt, twisting awkwardly and balancing with one palm on Sasuke's thigh and one palm on the armrest between the two of them, as he propelled himself as close to the window as he could manage. "Wow, look at that view!"

"You can have the window seat on the way home, now sit down," Sasuke assured him and grunted as Naruto leaned too heavily upon his thigh.

Itachi turned, his gaze curious - but also knowing. And it was then that Sasuke realized he had called the dorms ' _home_ ' out loud. It was what he categorized them as, sure, but he hadn't meant to say it out loud in front of any member of his family. Ever. And Itachi hadn't looked offended; he had looked understanding. But Itachi, he was sure, was a different case than his other relatives, and Sasuke made a mental note to himself to be more mindful about what he said. He had gotten too used to speaking without first considering his words; living with his friends had spoiled him in that sense. His lack of a filter was a strange problem to have because never before had he not been able to contain himself; it was bizarre to have to remind himself to watch his words when in the past it was an instinctual and an unconscious habit.

"You promise?" Naruto asked, oblivious to Sasuke's slip up and the resulting spiral of a thought process it had led to.

Sasuke looked away from Itachi and turned to Naruto - whose face was right there, holy shit. "I promise."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks, Sasuke!"

"No problem...babe."

In a sudden jerk, Naruto's hand clumsily slipped off Sasuke's thigh and his other hand clumsily slipped off the armrest. "Ow, ow, ouch," Naruto chanted as he clutched the elbow that had whacked against the armrest when he lost his balance.

Sasuke let out a quiet snort. It seemed that Naruto could dish the pet names but couldn't take them. Or, maybe, Sasuke mused as Naruto recovered enough to perch once again upon Sasuke's thigh and their armrest, it would only be the first time he addressed Naruto by one that would take him off guard. After all, Naruto was adaptive more than he was anything else. Well. Anything else besides headstrong and endlessly optimistic, that was.

* * *

Half an hour into the flight, the excitement wore off enough that Naruto fell asleep, his neck tilted awkwardly as he slumped in the seat. He was snoring softly, his mouth ajar slightly.

Forty five minutes into the flight and Naruto's head had managed to slip from his seat to encroach over onto Sasuke's space. Sasuke sighed and gently adjusted him so that he was sitting upright again. Two minutes later, he slumped back over, and Sasuke admitted defeat; he gently maneuvered Naruto's head to a position that was a little easier on his neck and let Naruto's head fall upon his shoulder. Sasuke grimaced as he felt drool seep into his shirt.

Itachi resolutely looked out the window the whole time - but his mouth curled upwards as soon as Sasuke had adjusted Naruto to allow him to use his shoulder as a pillow.

* * *

"Wake up, sleeping beauty," Sasuke said monotonously and poked Naruto in the side. When Naruto didn't wake, he poked him harder, jabbing his index finger into Naruto's gut ruthlessly. "We're here, sleeping beauty."

"What the hell, stop that!" Naruto snapped and then opened his eyes. He looked at Sasuke with confusion and then his gaze seemed to catch Itachi. "Oh right." He sat up and Sasuke's shoulder felt so much lighter, holy shit.

"We'll be de-boarding shortly," Itachi said softly.

"Oh, nice." Naruto nodded. "And then we'll be at your guys' house, huh. Are they expecting us - like do they know what time we're coming? Because I am starving and I'm kinda hoping they have dinner ready, to be honest."

"We have to rent a car first, but, yes, they are expecting us. However, I don't know anything about their dinner plans." Sasuke spoke.

Naruto groaned. "As soon as we rent a car, can we stop for food? I literally do not care where, I just want food."

"There's food at the airport." Sasuke reminded him. "You can get food while Itachi and I wait for the luggage."

Naruto once again groaned. "I forgot we have to wait for the luggage! I should have never let you talk me into a suitcase. Look, Itachi has a carry on because _he's_ not an idiot."

"A suitcase was more suitable for our needs," He pinched the bridge of his nose. "A carry on wasn't enough room."

"Itachi clearly thought a carry on would be fine!" Naruto protested. Before Sasuke could rebut that, he continued, "Besides, I don't want to get airport food! It's super expensive! Didn't you see the prices before we left? It's like forty bucks for a Venti Starbucks coffee."  
  


"Why were you even looking at Starbucks coffee?" Sasuke asked, baffled. "You had already had two cups of coffee."

Naruto leveled him with a dirty look. "Yeah but _somebody_ woke me up super early."

Itachi coughed. Sasuke wasn't sure if he faked it or if it was genuine, but it immediately drew both of their attention to him - and to the fact that they were arguing stupidly right in front of him, which wasn't very boyfriend-like behavior to exhibit.

"Yes, we can stop somewhere," Itachi offered kindly.

Naruto grinned. "Sasuke, your brother's so nice!"

"We're going through a drive through and that's it," Sasuke said firmly. "I don't want to spend an hour at a sit down restaurant while all of us are tired and jet lagged."

"You should be nicer, like your brother is," Naruto grumbled but didn't protest Sasuke's conditions.

"I'm nice enough," Sasuke replied. "Otherwise you would have broken up with me by now."

"Yeah, well, I've gotten very close very often." Naruto rolled his eyes. Itachi looked affronted. And Sasuke? Sasuke couldn't help to contain the laughter that burst out if he _tried;_ Naruto lying so blatantly about their relationship 'troubles' was hilarious to him. Naruto grinned at him, not surprised at all, as if he had expected such a reaction. Itachi looked between the two of them in bafflement. To be honest, Sasuke couldn't blame him. Most people probably wouldn't be laughing after their significant other said that they often thought about breaking up with them. But Sasuke couldn't help but to laugh - and Naruto joined in, as if there was some wonderful inside joke between the two of them. As if Sasuke's laughter was infectious the way Naruto's laughter tended to be around people.

"Yeah, well," Sasuke finally said, smirk in place. "I'll believe it when I see it, babe."

* * *

When Itachi turned the car down the main street that led to their cul de sac, Sasuke felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Underneath his sweater, his arm hair was probably doing the same thing. It was like - like a ghost had taken presence in the rental car among the three of them. It was unnerving and unsettling in a way Sasuke hadn't expected. Like deja vu except while being hyper aware of the moment.

Itachi turned into a smaller street that led further into the track and Sasuke found himself clenching his hands into fists. He wasn't ready. He didn't feel ready. More than anything he had wanted Itachi to come back - but now that they were here, everything felt so - so -

"Hey," Naruto whispered and nudged his shoulder with a hand in what he probably thought was subtly but was very noticeable since Sasuke sat in the passenger seat and Naruto sat in the second row. "You okay?"

Itachi's eyes slid to him.

"I'm fine." Sasuke answered them both.

He wasn't sure, exactly, how true that was.

* * *

Stepping onto the porch was oddly grounding, the motion familiar. The welcome mat was new - as were Sasuke's companions - but the porch was the same and so were the steps that led to it. It was oddly soothing to his nerves. He stepped forward and knocked on the door.

He let out a quick breath as nerves once again gathered. But he was at his house - he was home now. There was no need to be nervous, he reminded himself. It was unsettling to have Itachi on the porch with him - not to mention how bizarre it was for Naruto to be there - but it would soon become to feel tolerable and then even become to feel normal. He tried to bolster the odd assurance being upon the porch had given him only moments ago, tried not to lose it to the feeling of how weird it was to be here - like this especially, in these circumstances.

The door opened. "Mother," Sasuke greeted but she only had eyes for his brother.

"Itachi," His mother breathed, the word hardly audible. Her hand covered her mouth, covered whatever shock or happiness that may be exposed in the way her mouth twisted underneath. There was no hiding the wideness of her eyes, the sudden paleness of her skin. "You're alive."

For a moment, Sasuke felt a surge of vindication. He had told Itachi that when he took off, none of them had known what had happened to him and if he was even still alive. However, the moment ended quickly when Sasuke also realized that his parents had had much more reason to assume Itachi hadn't been alive because they had _known_ about Itachi being ill and had said nothing, had let him leave and had _assumed_ he had died somewhere. That wasn't exactly the case, he realized. Itachi had said to him that he had known he was ill when he had left but hadn't known yet that he was dying. So neither could their parents have known.

Nor did they know it now.

"Mother," Itachi greeted and Mikoto took a step backwards, as if a ghost had spoken.

"Who's at the door?" Sasuke's father called and rounded the hallway, stopping abruptly in is tracks by the stairwell. "Itachi," He said, almost as breathless as his wife had been.

An Uchiha family reunion. His parents stared at Itachi and ignored Sasuke. Which was fine. If they had felt anything like Sasuke had these past years, it was a lot to process. He had frozen too at the sight of Itachi back in the cafe. But then the silence dragged on, the staring continued. And Sasuke clenched his fists as he looked between his brother and his parents as no one said one fucking word. Everyone just standing there, saying nothing. His parents eyes for Itachi and Itachi alone. Itachi unwilling to break the silence. Sasuke, too angry and too sympathetic to do so himself.

And then a warm hand wound its fingers around Sasuke's tense fist, fingers pulling gently until Sasuke unclenched his fists and allowed them to wind themselves together with his fingers. Naruto, a warm presence silently at his side that he had almost forgotten was there somehow. He squeezed Sasuke's fingers softly, and it reminded Sasuke to _breathe_.

"Might we come in?" Itachi asked calmly, as if unbothered by the deep tension, and drawing his parents' attention to the fact that more people than Itachi stood there on the porch.

"Of course," Sasuke's mother answered and stepped aside. And then Itachi was walking through the doorway of Sasuke's childhood home, just like Sasuke had dreamed for so many years that he would.

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is going to be a series! I'm going to do a prequel that focuses on Ino/Sakura + probably a followup to this one where Sasuke and Naruto actually get together.


End file.
